Thursday, June 10, 2010

Mid-Life (again)

In my blog I'm always talking about the perils and joys of being a woman. And everywhere I turn, I see all kinds of books and ads trying to convince me that menopause is the new spring of the second half of a woman's life and that we should enjoy it. Maybe.
This is from an email I received and I want to share this with ya'll. You will gain ten pounds of cottage cheese in your thighs if you disagree with me and think this isn't true.


Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cellphone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

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