Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Some really good things came out of my membership with eHarmony, but ohmylanta, these Nigerians search me out like I'm truffles underground. But I'm way ahead of them now because I know what to look for and how to handle them. After all, this email I got yesterday that screams of Nigerian footprints was my 6th one.

So I emailed him back. I asked him where he was, he told me he was in "LA". Unless, you're in a coma, you know that it means Los Angeles. I said: Wow, Hollywood. No comment. "How long have you lived there in Louisiana?" 6 months he said. "Are you near Monroe, La." He said yes. The bottom feeder  now has entered my trap, but not totally yet. "What is your phone number, I will call you" "Well, let me be the man here and let me be the one to call you."
I was going to tell him I was one State away from him and I want to drive to see him. And then along the way, on the freeway, I stopped by a convenient store and found that my credit card was cancelled, would you wire me some money. I know he wasn't going to run to the next Western Union office and send me the money, but I wanted him to know that I'm ahead of the game. Well, we didn't get to that part because the next email I received was from eHarmony telling me that they have blocked the oxygen thief, bottom feeding scum "for reasons that threatens the integrity of your profile".

I swear that if I see one Nigerian walking down here in this island, I would grab him and march him down to my pastor's house so he can be introduced to Jesus and the cross. Then I will make him like Jesus. I will hang him and make him pay for the sin of his people. And I will only lower him down, after my street kids are done skinning him. Praise the lord.


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