I was raised to believe that the word "ambition" is synonymous with 'sin' and that dreaming for something bigger or better, equates to being not content with what I was given. When Chat was born I didn't need to dream or wish for anything more. I had more than enough. I didn't even dream of bigger and better things for her, because my mind was not conditioned to think that way; not for myself or for anyone else. I worked hard just so we can survive that day, and that was the extent of my planning.

 But God in His omniscience and His kind heart, knew just what is good and perfect for me. And for Chat. He has granted us favor beyond our wildest dream.  So if I  knew then to live out the proverbial "one day at a time" advice, why am I sitting here entertaining the temptation to worry? And forgetting having experienced Gods' goodness and mercy?  Because worrying keeps the mind energized, it makes me creative and imaginative. While  contentment lacks muscles, it lacks drive and energy. Like him.

I went to the farm this weekend and I should have backed out right when after I got on the ferry barge, I could already feel like someone is cradling us; the boat was tilting left and right. It was still dark that I could not see the waves, but halfway through, I sensed we were in trouble. The captain turned us down to the south side of the island to hide from what they call the "east wind". I was trembling inside, nothing could calm my anxious mind. I put on my headset and listened to my Christian playlist and texted my church friends for prayers and then I stood up to look and see how far we were from the coast line. And this is what met my eyes. God is just cool that way.

Here, the boys and I were panning for gold. Really, these are turmeric and purple ginger.

Now guess what this is. Chocolate or cacao pods? Neither. This is mahogany tree seeds.

I spent the weekend at the farm and just got back here in my crib in the city. I was elated and encouraged when I saw that my vegetables were doing extremely well even after my long absence.

While big diamonds excite other women, a fat pepper will do the same for me.

But I can't have it all. Look at them skinny stalks, they're gingerly taking their time. I wish my ginger would retain water, bloat and get fat--I'm tired of doing it for it for them--- while they, remain thin. ,

My friend came and stayed with me for the weekend. Coco water to clean our kidneys.

I noticed we have something in the middle of the land that we don't know the name of. One of the surviboys said he can tell by eating it, I told him, he can eat it as long as he doesn't ask me for hospital money if he got poisoned. ,

I love the market day.

Am back from a 3 day get-away. It was a test on how I would handle travelling with other people. I've always said that when I was ready to travel with other people (other than a boyfriend) it will be Juliet--my friend in Manila. So this weekend, we tested the road. And my resolve. And I passed the test with a bang. I truly enjoyed the experience of travelling with company.

They're not unhappy, they're just drunk.

I flew to Clark Air Base where I met up with Juliet and Flora. The next day we drove south to a town called Batangas, where we ate the famous beef bone soup (Bulalo) then went to visit another friend at their farm.

Well, I made it. I made it past December without killing myself. What is it about December that makes people (or is it just me) sad, restless and uncomfortable with the supposedly "jolly season"?
I'm not going to bore you with my story on why I hate December, because most likely you've read about it already every year anyway.

I will tell you however what I am thinking of doing in the year to come. Since I am now without my abode in Dallas, I have no choice but to stay here in Cebu and become a full time farmer. I thought I knew about farming, you know, like, drop the seeds on the ground and wait? I've joined this group called Spread Organic Agriculture in the Philippines and I find out that yes, I can do that, but if I am to expect a "yield" there are some rules that nature requires.

But in the meantime, before I get on my hands and knees to be one with the soil, I need a break. Which by the way Chat would remind me : "Mom, your life is one continuous break."
I really do need one---what with the emotional strain that December brought and the physical exertion I had to do to plant this 2 pineapples.