Mid-Life (again)

In my blog I'm always talking about the perils and joys of being a woman. And everywhere I turn, I see all kinds of books and ads trying to convince me that menopause is the new spring of the second half of a woman's life and that we should enjoy it. Maybe.
This is from an email I received and I want to share this with ya'll. You will gain ten pounds of cottage cheese in your thighs if you disagree with me and think this isn't true.


Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cellphone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Road Rage

Men have road rage...we women have menopause.

Men Should Pause

Men should pause to try to understand why a woman acts like a bat out of hell sometimes. And I say sometimes because it's not always that we want to kill you, (or ourselves.) In fact, the feeling only lasts a few days (but every month) and we're back to our jolly-old- lovable self again, well, maybe not quiet that lovable but you know what I mean.

A woman is not only expected to cook, she's also expected to be the walking oven for nine months - baking or whatever is going on inside our stomach until we deliver Jr.
Not that we're complaining.
Then we have postpartum depression, premenstrual cramps and ten years of life-sucking peri-menopause hell before we're officially called a prune. All because we're a woman. Please don't think that we got the name "woman" - in short for "woe to man". That's simply not true. We are here to be your helpmate, to walk alongside you and be the wind beneath your wings. On a good day, I mean.

All we ask in return is that in times like these below, you simply try to understand us and remember to say the 3 magic words : "You're right dear."

Where Has All Our Pleasure Gone?

"I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure" - John D. Rockefeller



Four days a week I work to make a living, the other three I use to daydream and squander what I made. But lately my brain is frozen and unable to even daydream or spell squander. I think, from too much excitement over Journey, I have extracted all the adrenalin out of my body. It's my kindergarten explanation to my unexplainable blah. But really, there's a medical term for it, it's called menopause. Men would do well if instead of striving to become a CEO, they quit their jobs and go to school and learn how to deal with the bipolar woman at home. The money only goes to the lawyers and psychiatrists anyway.

Anyway, I'm trying to stay on track here and not let this menopause thing derail me from my point. Or what is my point? I saw this book by Dr. Hart titled "Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure is Leaving us Numb." The title alone speaks volume so I am ordering it because as I have mentioned before, I am always looking for the next thrill. Thankfully, I have my faith in Christ that gets me back in alignment whenever I stray from the truth. And thankfully, I have a 4 day weekend coming up starting tomorrow.

Marya bewitched me with her Boracay pictures that I want to drive down to Galveston so I can smell the ocean breeze. I was getting restless at work today because I just wanted to get in my car and start heading south. Another thing I don't like about Dallas - no mountains, no ocean. In San Francisco, they have both, plus Arnel Pineda and Ross Valory.

If I live in San Francisco, I would not mind working 5 days a week. At least I'll have 2 days to look forward to; Saturday, I'll stalk Arnel and Ross on Sunday. If the San Francisco police don't like that, at least there's mountains to climb and Goldilocks bakery.
Here in Dallas, there's only 1 Filipino restaurant and it's a 5-hour drive to get to the nearest ocean, that's why I spend most of my days daydreaming than working. My boss kept asking me to work full time, politely I kept declining, (I already gave in and work 4) I explained to her that I don't need to work because I have all the money I could spend in my lifetime. Assuming of course, that my lifetime is only one month.

Dedicated to All Women Over 40

Here's a quote from Andy Rooney. (If you're under 40 and dreading the years ahead, this should give you hope.)

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, “What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified.They seldom has a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one.You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Here's an update for you. Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realized it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

I crossed 50

I don't even remember my password to get in to my blogger account. Yeah, it's been a while. I did not want to write anymore and still don't. But today, I feel that I have to start again. But what do I want to talk about? Let's start with how I feel about turning 50, well, it is not "turning" anymore because it arrived 8 months ago. In my previous blog I talked about turning 50 and how much I looked forward to it. I said that because I had fun in my 40's. Even with my conversations being peppered with words like peri, menopause and hormonal avalanche, I had more highs than lows. It was a mentally and emotionally challenging years but momentous nonetheless. But now everything is taxing - physically, emotionally and mentally. I have slowly accepted the fact that Victoria can no longer hold my Secret. Thongs still fit but only if I wear it in between my toes. Regardless that I adjust the strap all the way to my shoulder to pull them totoys up, they still like to race as to which one would get to the knees first. My friend Lynn used to offer me her daughters used clothes, now she offers me hers.
Four years ago, my doctor told me to start doing exercises that builds muscles to avoid thickening around the waist. I reasoned that I need to sleep more than I need to squat and besides, I need fat for padding for when I round them corners carelessly. I should have listened because now, I can't turn a corner without strategic planning. Not only does my knees crackle, my hip needs 2 weeks advance notice before it will even turn.

So what am I trying to say? Fifty is definitely different. It makes me rethink of my position in life. I no longer think so much of where I should live (Philippines or Texas) but where I should be buried. Only a year ago, I wished for a husband to enjoy the days of travel and food adventures with me. Only a year ago, I imagined a husband to cuddle up with on cold nights but now, I get panic attacks just thinking about sharing my 600 count bedsheets and not being able to sleep diagonally across my king size bed.

But really, being 50 is not all bad. Fifty is the springtime of the second half of our life---euphemism for menopause. At 50, I have become more philosophical to which I can do things I am not supposed to do or skip the things I am expected to do. All can be explained away by saying, "Well, you know, since I turned 50, I don't retain much information; the only thing I retain now is water."
When people say nasty things about me, I have a hard time putting together who said what and when.
And when I am praised or given a compliment, I don't get a big head--I simply grin and silently say "of course, because I'm perfect."
As Dr. Christiane Northrup says : Menopause is the perfect time to download who we are and play it out loud.

Menopause 1

I told the bill collector I was not paying the bill, because It was not me in the hospital....but then I saw this picture. I thought I'd play up on this menopause memory loss bit.

Two days ago, I decided to search the internet about menopause. I read the many symptoms that comes with menopause and one of them is heart palpitations. I could kick myself for not reading up on it before. Two weeks before I left Dallas to come to the Philippines, I was admitted to the hospital for some symptoms that I thought were that of a stroke. After 2 days and 15,000 usd in medical bills, the doctor released me and all he could say was that I was having panick attacks. What in the world is that? Or why is that? I knew that several years prior I was slowly introduced to this body I am not familiar with. Memory loss, difficulty to focus, on a good day. Then there's the, "I am fat, I am ugly, nothing fits, I just want to cry..leave me alone or I am filing for divorce if I don't kill you," days. The medical bill was bad enough but the doctor not really able to tell you why, is frustrating to say the least. But now I understand, why I have this crazy heartbeats. Now I can justify those good and bad days. There are so many books written about menopause and I did not think of reading them before because, I don't think I should. One of those books said in the front cover that with menopause comes wisdom and power. How is that wisdom and power when I can't even remember what I said just now? Well, see I was going to write about wanderlust and end up with menopause. So I better quit before I lose focus again.