Saved By The Comma

I'm trying to wriggle my way out of this online dating labyrinth that I got into. I cancelled out from the Filipino site after a week because I got what I needed for my research and I didn't want to continue in a site where the men are specifically seeking out a Filipino woman. (I have my reasons for this, trust me.) Then five days ago, I joined this site that's supposedly specific for seniors. The very next day I woke up with 47 messages, and since then, at least 20 messages every morning awaits me and would run up to 30 throughout the day. Flattering, right? NO.

As I've mentioned before, I am open if the right man comes along regardless what site they come from. The problem is, I have no patience for liars. If I ask you a question, I need you to answer - that would be a good start if you want me to like you. These men say they're good listeners but it seemed they didn't even hear what I asked them in my message and just went on to write about how they like the opera and candle lit dinners. Which by the way is too pretentious for me and so not me. I'm a roadside stand-eat-with-my fingers and answer my question if I ask you kind of gal, you know what I mean? They not answering my question is not the worst part. Lying and deception seemed to be their common thread and I can not work with that.

I now understand how my friend felt in her search for a man. She got frustrated and felt more helpless and because she was vulnerable and needy, she ended up taking one who's a loser - just to have a man. God forbid that I would do that. Money does not impress me. I've had it come and go. So when this idiot told me he drives a BMW and he's got a masters degree in Engineering without me asking him, I blocked him off. A person who has an advance degree would know to put a comma or a period in a sentence and use capital letters when necessary. I can forgive him for lying, what I can't forgive is him thinking I'm an idiot to believe him. I mean this man wrote at least 3 pages of garbage. No, he didn't write anything obscene, but if a person writes like that, it's just as obscene in my book. Don't get me wrong, I'm no English major and nowhere near good at English. I could love a man who is slow, ignorant or stupid but what I can't stomach is when a man thinks he can fool me. I just love having this blog - saves me the psych couch.

Double Standard

Ok. I'll let you in on a secret. Last weekend I signed up for a free membership to an online dating service. I did this for two reasons: Part research for my book and part curiosity. I was also very eager to investigate the site because a friend of mine swears by her husband's grave that this particular site is teeming with hungry fishes. You drop a line and within minutes you'll get a bite, she said. The site is very specialized; the women are only Filipino women and the men comes from all over the world.

My friend is right. Within minutes after uploading my picture and posting my profile, my email started bobbing....there's a bite. It was wild and it was exciting, but what my friend forgot to tell me, is that some of this men borders on the two "P's." Perverts or Pedophiles. One man, aged 62, was looking for a girl aged 18-25 years old. Can you imagine a woman 50 and above, saying she prefers boys of that age? If at my age now, I would feel inclined to date boys of that age, you'd know there's something bad wrong with me, right? Mothers from everywhere claiming to protect their sons would want to skin me alive - Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, Mothers Against Tatoos and Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up would all band together just so they can skin me alive, legally. So why is it ok for a man to want to bed his daughter? And advertise it publicly too. Or is this only acceptable and welcomed, because the girl is Filipino?

In America, if an 18 year-old girl dates a man 5-years older than her, the girl's family will be all over town, cross eyed and all. Unless of course, the man is a celebrity or a millionaire. Then old and tired Larry King is fine. I really should not be kicking the dog too hard, because I myself used to like old men. But that was when I was young. Now that I'm old, I've learned a few things; young is better than old, rich is better than poor and that an American man, even if he's on the poverty line, is still worth millions - if you convert it to pesos.