Dress Codes, Morals and Mercedes

I could be an all-American girl, except that I didn't arrive on the Mayflower and I don't care for football or baseball. But I've always been partial to golf because the players mostly keep a low profile. And they don't wear tight pants tormenting you with their banana and grapes cluster. That sight right there is enough to make me feel tired and dirty - and that's without mentioning their running and rolling around on the ground.

Even with John Daly's freakish dress codes, I still love golf, but I am not a fan of Tiger Woods because the kid is almost supernatural in his game that everytime the word "golf" is mentioned, Tigers name is right next to it. During any tournament where he plays, everyone else is eclipsed by Tiger; either by the media attention or just by how the crowd holds their breath when he passes by. What about the pony-tailed, cigar smoking Spaniard- Miguel Angel Jimenez? Ok, so it's not the same, but get my point?

And now his scandal. I still believe that the kid should be cut some slack - leave the kid and his family alone. The argument that Tiger's life should be public because he's a product endorser and therefore a role model, is friggin' warped thinking to me. Tiger did not start out as an endorser; he's a golfer, an excellent golfer. So here comes Nike asking Tiger to wear their shoes, their hat and their shirts (and whatever else). Nike, the Greek goddess, offered Tiger millions of dollars in exchange for him to wear the victory swoosh on his person all the time, except when he's taking a shower. Nike and the other sponsors did not sign Tiger on because he was a moral agent who would lead us to spiritual salvation or usher us in to Shangri-la, or serve as our guide on how to empty ourselves of greed. The Greek goddess wanted the Tiger to convince us to empty our pockets and buy Nike shoes, period.

Tiger Woods not only sells shoes, he also sells watches and private jets while he plays golf on the side and gets paid in millions - that's free and open market. But his private life is not free or open to the market. He answers only to his family and ultimately to God for his personal transgressions. Now, my neighbor who lives off of my taxes under section 8 rental program definitely needs to answer to me : What's a brand new Mercedes doing in her garage?

Tiger's not out of the Woods

There's a certain appeal to anything that we can't easily get. Like, even people who does not care about golf or how many times Tiger Woods has hit a birdie, now wants to know why Tiger hit the fire hydrant.

I'm a firm believer that politicians are the only public figure whose life should be dissected by the public, if for no other reason than it's our tax dollars paying them. Movies and sports celebrities are entitled to a private life, period. I don't care that there are parents out there who thinks that they are role models for their kids. Excuse me, but let me say it again, they are not role models for your kids - you are.

Anyway, back to Tiger and his wife Elin. Why did Elin claw his face and smash his car window with his golf club? She clawed his face because that's what a woman should do to stop her husband from leaving the house at 220 a.m. And why the golf club? Because her nails were already broken from clawing him, she can't use her bare hands to smash the glass. And why was Tiger leaving the house at 220 a.m.? Because he could not sleep thinking about the black Friday sale at the mall so he can get Rachel that jewelry she wanted. Who's Rachel?