You read it here....

An ex-boyfriend of 4 years ago called from Madrid at 3:10 this morning, my time. Yes, 3:10. He needed someone to vent out his frustration because he lost his passport for the 3rd time this year. Yes, 3rd time. He lost it somewhere after getting his boarding pass and the lounge, he said, and he was just beside himself. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He asked. " What the hell is wrong with me answering your call at 3 in the morning, that's what I want to know." I answered. I could tell he didn't think I was being funny, he just wanted to lash out at someone and I was it.

I told him we can spend time grieving over what we lost, or we can focus on rejoicing for what we still have. But I understand his frustration and maybe fear....the loss of memory is a scary thing. I know, why do you think my book is not finished yet? Part of it is because I'm lazy, but really, it's because most days, I forget that I am writing a book. Oh well, I can't worry about it now.
Right now, I'm working on something else. A couple friends of mine are hard at work, trying to convince me to move with them to Palermo Italy. So I gave them my requirement: Find me an Italian boyfriend and I will move in a heartbeat. I've made up my mind, I'll marry the first one who will propose. Any takers?

The cost of living

My passport still has about 7 months left before it expires, but because I am vagabonding again at the start of the year, I went ahead and applied for a renewal. And guess how much it costs now....$110.00 and the 2 photos for 15 dollars! Oy veh! the cost of living.


While I was hanging around waiting for the photos to come out, I saw this sign:

Airport Body scanners

A lot of people are up in arms complaining about the body scanner at airports. I really don't know where I stand on this issue, yes, I'm concerned of the radiation it exposes my body to, but not enough for me to go bunkers. And the fondling? Well, as long as it's done by a Javier Bardem look-alike and he's paid more than the minimum wage, I can live with it.I can't understand why the US have not adopted the ingenuity of the Israelis. At their airports, they don't use a body scanner, instead, you go into this booth where there's no X-ray, but it will detonate any explosives you have on your body. I think this is cool, because it will eliminate the cost of a trial and years of feeding them in prison. This is also good for those passengers who are on a "standby" list. Don't you think?

*Photo lifted from blog.tsa.gov

Is it gray or is it dark?

Always, the holiday season brings me down on my knees. It disables me emotionally and I don't hide it, at least not too well. Yesterday, when I asked the AT&T technician when my internet connection will be back, he said. "We're trying to do our best, but what I suggest, is that you forget about it for now and busy yourself with Christmas shopping because I can't tell you when your internet will be fixed." I told him, what makes you think I shop for Christmas, or that I have people I want to shop for?

Even though I have lots of friends, I am a good example of those people who have become more isolated because of social networking now made less social by the internet and the cell phones. I reach out and touch the mouse before I do to friends. When my internet is useless on any given day, I go into a murderous frenzy as if I'm demon possessed, and when it goes down during this time of the year, I don't have the energy for any frenzy; I simply want to down a handful of Xanax then hide in my cave and come back out in March. But hiding is no fun if no one's going to look for you. Well, I know what I'm hiding from.... what I don't know is, what I'm searching for.

Food...or is it?

Arturo Carvajal, a doctor from Miami Florida ended up in the hospital after eating a whole artichoke. It was found that some leaves lodged in his small intestine. So what did he do? He sued the restaurant for not instructing him the proper way to eat an artichoke. What in the world did he think this bulbous thing was? This is what the restaurant representative said: "It's just kind of a silly notion ... What's next? Are we going to have to post warnings on our menu they shouldn't eat the bones in our barbecue ribs?" I agree.

When I was in Strasbourg, France and I saw on the menu the word "roasted bone marrow", I ordered it because Anthony Bourdain said it's his favorite food. After one spoonful, I wanted to pass out because it was like slurping a spoonful of grease. Of course, I didn't need the waiter to tell me to down another glass of wine. I have several sets of friends and I know what to serve who when they come to my apartment. Last Saturday, I served crispy duck and salad for lunch. When my friend Billy came by that night to pick me up to go to the hockey game, I offered him the left over salad. He said, "why do you have salad? I thought you don't eat them." I don't, I feed them to Americans.

Chain Letters, Prosperity Preachers

I can't stand health and wealth preachers. When I hear them twist the gospel, not because of lack of knowledge but because of the ulterior motive to line their pockets, I just want to vomit, the same way I want to vomit when someone sends me a "chain message." You know, the kind where it induce or manipulate me in thinking that something "good" will happen to me if I send it to so many people. Or else....

I not only feel stupid when I receive this chain letters, I also get very pissed because I feel that the sender must believe that I am that gullible to fall for the trick, the hype or whatever you call it. I call it witchcraft. God is sovereign; our faith does not dictate the will of God. God covets our praise no matter what the situation and calls us to persevere in praying, but we can not manipulate His will with a mantra.

I don't care what people do, just so I don't have to pay for it. Imagine when I got 40 text messages on my cell phone this afternoon because the chain letter was so long, of course I was ready to call on the O'leans witch to apply vodoo on the sender of this message. I don't want to participate in witchcraft. I don't believe in luck. I don't do mantra. However, I do pray. But I only pray to Jesus. I don't call on His dead mother Mary and I don't call on His dead helpers, I only talk to the resurrected Christ. Period. (I better calm down and shut up now and watch my videos I just checked out from the library, maybe it will help me forget the cost of the 40 text messages)

Ponder on this

The other day I watched a documentary about Larry Page and Sergey Brin--the founders of Google. Both came from a family of academics; both were raised by parents whose passion was "to teach." Money was never their goal first, teaching was. And so when Larry and Sergey came up with the idea of creating a search engine, their question was not how can we make the most money, but how can we make it better for people to search for information. Needless to say, both are now billionaires.

And this morning I was listening to this radio program where a man was talking about his father. The father immigrated from Greece, he worked hard and reward came for his hard work. By the world's standard, he is successful...all 4 kids finished college, he paid off his residence and a vacation home and took lavish vacations with the family. The son telling the story is an accountant and he now runs the family business. And he runs it tightly, very tightly. Every penny has to be accounted for and he is obsessed with making money. Money became his focus and his family came way down the line. The father had to sit him down: "Son, when I came to this country, I had only the pants on my body, deduct the cost of the pants and everything we have is profit."

I have always made this a running principle in my life: I never make money the motivating factor for me to do things or not do things. And I try to remember what Zig Ziglar says: "You can have everything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what they want." Ponder on this philosophy, then start applying it in your life and I dare you to prove me wrong.

Merci Beaucoup Mr. Harper!

I love a civilized man, but what I love more is a civilized French Canadian whose heart beats with mine....that is to stand with Israel whatever the cost. Don't kid yourself...any entity who is a threat to Israel, is ultimately a threat to us all. Merci Beaucoup Mr. Harper for standing with Israel and Mazel Tov to the Canadians who has you as their leader. Merci!


Go on with your bad self, Harper.

Run

I just got back from running. When my anxiety comes on during the day, I run to try and outrun it, but when I get it in the middle of the night...I eat. Both works, but not all the time.
I want to share this video of Edison Pena, one of the rescued Chilean miners. While trapped underground for 69 days, he tried to take control of his anxiety by running 3-8 miles a day. Some days he would strap around his waist a cable pulling a wooden pallet....anything to control his anxiety.

???Women

Gloria Steinem said that women have become the man they've always wanted to marry. This is a good observation. But I like Charles Boyer's observation better: "A Frenchwoman when doublecrossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations----but they all will console themselves with another man."

Susan B. Anthony is not content with these observations though, she has to have answers: "The only question left to be settled now is, are women persons?" I would like to know too, but even old Sigmund Freud didn't have the answer: "Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered, What does a woman want?"

Good question, which I don't have the answer for myself either.

Fermenting and Stewing

I've had my camera forever now but I've never learned to use the auto timer. I don't read manuals, ok? Well, this week I've learned to capture my boredom. Hmmmm.
When I'm depressed, I eat and cook. When I'm bored, I eat and cook. Or maybe not cook, but ferment. Yup. Kimchi, my favorite condiment. I make them myself because I find the ones at the store too sweet for me.

The trick to a good kimchi is in the brining, when the cells are broken down to where it can absorb all the flavor of the seasoning.
Grind the seasoning paste. Garlic,ginger, chili powder, fermented shrimp fry, bonito flakes, sugar, salt.
Stuff the cabbage then let it ferment in the refrigerator or in this vat for 3-7 days then cut it up, put in a jar and it's ready to eat. Unless it's pickled or fermented, I can't be bothered with veggies.I bought this vat, a long time ago, because I was being anal. (trying to be authentic, looking that is)
The other day, I watched a video titled Lemons- it's about a Palestinian widow left to take care of a lemon grove all by herself. Her house was filled with pickled lemons. I've seen them sold at the Mediterranean market, so I thought I'd do them myself.This will last months and comes handy when you need it for some chicken or fish stews.

Love....is not enough

The honeymoon is over when he phones that he'll be late for supper and she's already left the note saying it's in the refrigerator. Bill Lawrence

I have a friend who struggles in her marriage, and I tell her --stay, it's the right thing to do, besides, who has a perfect marriage anyway? She says she doesn't love her husband anymore, and I tell her, we don't stay for love, we stay for commitment.
Everyone loves love, but very few knows how to give it or accept it. People get into marriages thinking it's a good deal, but when they find out that it's not, they start looking for the ideal which only leads to another ordeal. I have become a cynic, I admit. When I see people huffing and puffing, giddy and edgy, spending time and money for a wedding, I get weary, because sooner than later, they'd be huffing and puffing trying to get out, except this time, it will cost them more. Financially and emotionally.

So what is love? The world does not have the answer, Dr. Phil or Oprah does not have the answer. But here's what love is not: It does not seek its own, it is not provoked, it does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.
(1 Cor 13:4) This is God's prescription for a great institution called marriage. Notice the word "all" in there? and do you know what "all" means? It means ALL. (No wonder I'm not ready for an institution yet.)

Some thoughts on Motherhood

Her mom is right, but only if you take any male, and your only requirement is that he has a pulse.
Chat used to be ok with the idea that I might remarry, but lately she has been against it...strongly against it. She sent me this with a note, "why raise another man, if you can grow them?"
For all the heartaches that your kids put you through, you can still punish them in their adult life by either vegetating in the nursing home for several years or live healthy and do this.