11 Ways to Avoid Jury Duty

The people have spoken and come January we will have a black and white president to sit in the White House. Voting is a priviledge and trial by jury is a gift and I appreciate both. But serving on the jury is not my idea of a day off from work.


1. Ask the judge, “Cool if I take pictures for my blog?’

2. Bring fried lumpia (egg rolls) to sell at breaktime . If the bailiff stops you, start screaming –“You’re anti- Asian”

3. Address all the other juror loudly: "Who among us here will not kill for a date with Ross Valory?" if they roll their eyes start crying and keep blowing your nose on your sleeve.

4. When everyone is quiet, giggle and ask the bailiff : So, what do you think of Arnel Pineda? If he shush you and gives you that look like he doesn't know Arnel, start screaming - "You're a Steve Perry die hard and you're anti-Asian"

5. Breast feed your 7-year old. (Like my friend in Cebu)

6. Breast feed someone’s 7 year old. (Like my friend in Cebu. I know, I wonder too why I keep friends like this)

7. Act like a woman with PMS who cries a lot and keep crying until everyone is sad.

8. Keep winking at the lawyers and ask, “Can we hang him quick, boss?”

9. Always end your answer with : " But back in the Philippines if you have money….”

10. Insist on speaking in *Taglish like : ‘Lam mo kasi judge, I am a good citizen, kaya Im’here,
pero against my will talaga.

11. If none of the above works try this: show up wearing a t-shirt that says " I Want to Break Free " with Freddy Mercury's picture dressed like this .



*sentence interspersed with English and Tagalog