Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sweat the Small stuff

I got sick of being sick so I dragged myself to work today. Everyone wanted to know what the diagnosis was. Mosquito bite. (I wish I could tell them of an elegant sounding disease) It felt good sitting there at my desk knowing that at the end of the day I will get paid, even though I spent half the day remembering how to do my job again. I believe that part of healing from anything is to try to get back to your old routine, regardless how boring that routine may be.

While sitting there and looking out the window, an outburst of emotion came over me; suddenly life seems meaningful and at the same time it felt meaningless. I started to feel the urgency to get to a stream, a river or a lake and just sit and stare. I dreamed it to be a cool morning, with the dew on the leaves of the trees dripping on me. Then I dreamed of the European countryside, me standing on the foot of the hill (I don't know what hill in Europe)looking out to the vast valley before me. But I also saw myself sitting by the Mekong river sipping tea tarik, just gazing out to nowhere.

I thought to myself; no more hostels, no more budget airlines, no more roughing it. I want to be a nicely dressed traveller, not a grungy tourist. I still want to be a vagabond but tweaked a little, like, a bank account at every country I happen to be. Then I woke up and realized that it's all I could afford - to dream. Because finally, my butt is broke. My finances was on a slippery slope anyway,I know that, but I never thought that a mosquito can topple me or my finances. See, it's always them little things that gets you.

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