Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wrong side of 45

I have been on "the wrong side of 45" for several years now. When people say it's not fun being old, it's true... so don't do it. I have blogged about emails spamming my inbox selling me motorized scooter and how that rubbed my scales the wrong way. Well, if that wasn't insulting enough, the floodgate has opened to more personal emails.

They're now telling me, that at my age, I should get a "genie bra for the much needed lift." I wanted to email them back and tell them, no, thank you. My nipples down on my knees are just cool. And then there's this group of lawyers, even with a real persons name as the sender, giving me a final notice to join the class action suit for a "hip replacement recall." I don't know, but I don't think I want to give them back this hip, wherever and whoever it came from.

You see why getting old is not fun? It's not enough that my body tells me so everyday, there are actually people out there, meeting in boardrooms, sipping their java and blowing a camel, thinking of ways how to come into my life and insult me. And without subtlety. But then again, you should not beat around the bush with an old person. You want a man? Don't bother going to young peoples dating site. Go diretly to senior or over 45 They have to get straight to the point, because after all, I may not live long enough for that green banana in my dining table to ripen. And they have to be quick while I'm still able to differentiate the numbers; from my daughter's phone number to that of my credit card, to buy whatever it is they're selling to old people.

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