To marry or Not to marry

Today is one of those days where I can’t decide what I should eat for breakfast. It’s a simple dilemma considering that a lot of people don’t even have anything to eat. I finally decided on a piece of slice bread straight from the refrigerator and coffee. I finished reading the last chapter of the book of James and a thought popped in my head, “Will I ever remarry? Or maybe I should rephrase it, “ Would I want to remarry?” After my husband died, I hear so many well intentioned comments like, “ Oh, don’t remarry, why should you look for a headache” Others get maternal, “Oh, you should remarry, maybe not so soon but you should –just so you will have someone and you won’t be lonely.” Or something like, “Why remarry, you have your pension, you don’t need a man.”

Well, since I have nothing better to do today, let us reason together and dissect these statements to see if we can make sense out of them.
1. Marriage = headaches: You know, I had my heart broken (if it really gets broken) so many times and I always end up with the conclusion that whatever does not kill you, strengthens you. Can you really imagine life in this world without heartaches, headaches, and stomachaches? And now that I am older I noticed my knee aches too. Even that I welcome, because I get to appreciate the days that I don’t hear my knees crackle when I exercise. How boring, how lifeless will life be without the occasional pain? How so not exciting. So statement no. 1 will not stop me from remarrying.

2. Marriage = companionship. There’s some truth to this. But I was in a relationship once and I have never felt so alone, so lonely on Christmas. And he was right beside me. There are some marriages that you might as well have a rooster in your yard than a husband in the house. At least this rooster that my neighbor owns, crows even before you deny him three times, flap its’ wings and greets you every morning. (Whether you want him to or not.)
My daughter says "we can buy a husband but we can’t buy companionship." (I have not analyzed this statement but my Christmas gift would be in jeopardy if I don’t quote her, so I thought I’d write it and let you chew on it.)
So… No. This statement will not make me remarry.

3. Money = Man. Now, we’re going to discuss this deeply and in details. Another friend insists that if “you have money, you don’t need a man. You can do anything if you have money.”
I know, I know. Hire a yardman, hire a handyman, or buy a radio and leave it constantly tuned in to Howard Stern or Bobby Nalzaro. That’s the same, right? I don’t think so. Money will not buy you that wide, warm back (assuming he is obese) to curl up in and shield you from the lightning flash in the middle of the night. Money will not buy you that living cell that will bleed if you hit his toes with the vacuum while he is firmly planted in front of the TV. Now, money will buy you a life size dummy that you can position on the passenger side so you can drive on the HOV lane and get to work on time. Also, it will buy you a nice room at The Oriental Bangkok while you cry your eyes out because the plastic dummy just won’t do anymore.

Should I? Or Should I not? I understand the power of money or lack thereof, but I have yet to discover the power to resist the need for a man.