To Muse or be Amused

I don't read the papers to get wisdom but solely to be amused. Here's some of the stories that caught my attention.

A-Rod when asked about his steroids use said that he used it when he played for the Texas Rangers because of the heat in Texas, then later said he didn't know it was steroids because it was his cousin who injected it to him, then he finally admitted - "I knew they were not tic-tacs".

2. Then there's Michael Phelps, I don't know what the big deal is except that the kid could swim faster than the dolphins. He said he was photographed with the bong because aaah, what do you do with weeds anyway but smoke them...then he fell asleep in his soup.

3. But here's the caramel on the fudge - a passenger wrote a complaint letter about his inflight meals aboard Virgin Air - you know, the one owned by the flamboyant Richard Branson. Sir Richard read the letter and offered him a job with Virgin. I'm thinking now how I can come up with a complaint letter that will lead Richard to offer me to become his wife. But he'd have to agree to sign a prenup.