Embellish, Blow Up or Lie

It's 4 minutes to midnight and I am still pacing around my kitchen thinking about my resume'. I am waiting for my friend to come out of his coma so we can re-invent my resume' to where I can recognize me in it.

You see, the last time I made one myself was 23 years ago and I headlined it, "Bio-Data." When I showed it to Don, he was not laughing but his eyes got big, like he was stunned and amused at the same time. "Ritchie, you can't put your height, weight and religion in there." " Why not? that's how we do it in the Philippines." Don, a good teacher that he was, explained, "You're not in the Philippines anymore."

So two weeks ago, when I decided that I should look for another job, I called my friend who lives in another State and enlisted him to do my resume'. I emailed him the timeline and description of my previous jobs and asked him to put it together into a resume format because he should know what to look for in a resume - after all, he was once "the man who can hire and fire." But when he sent it back to me, the only thing I recognized was my name and address. "Who is this?" I asked him. He said it was me. "Are you sure that's me?" He said, "Ritchie, stop underselling yourself." Underselling is one thing, but lying? "Embellishing, is a better word." My friend corrected me.

I know, I know. I'm not in the Philippines anymore. But I begged him to redo it and he promised he would but, "I would only change a word or two." I can't shake him off from his coma and I hate it when I am under someone's mercy, but I'm too young for Medicare and too old to care, so I wait. Wait for my friend to redo my resume or find a husband so I don't have to find a job.