Sweat and ground worm

I just got back from the gym. And no, don't get any ideas, I went there to use one machine - the treadmill, because it's too cold to walk outside. I excercise for my health not for my looks, but I wondered about men and women who are svelte and trim already, and yet, you see them laboring, like they're workers from a third world country. You see these people labor on these machines so devotedly, you wished your co-worker worked this hard.

Take this guy who was already there when I arrived. Which, by the way, already gave me an attitude because he had the tv on so loud. This guy was very lean, so I know he was not pounding on that treadmill at speed 100 or maybe 1 trillion or whatever high number it was, for his health. He was pounding on that treadmill in the hope of catching something, and I know it's not to catch a cold either. He was running so fast, his eyes looked like it was going to pop out of it's socket. And the vein on his temple turned into a ground worm and changed colors: from green to pink to freaky blue, then back to just plain freaky. I swear, that could not be good for his health. Or for anybody's health.

After 2 minutes of watching him, I got so tired, I figured I didn't have to exercise anymore. I raised my heart rate just trying to control from vomitting. Call me old fashion, but, wet men I just can't do. At least not while I'm sane.

Quiet Please - You're in the Library

One of these days, I will ask one of these men why they like to sleep in the library. I see them all the time. When I go to the library, I go in and out - I pick up videos and books and I leave. But sometimes, I like to sit and read the newspaper. And today, that's just what I was going to do. But...

The man had on ski boots, ski jacket with the hood snugly pulled over his head and gloved hands. And yes,sunglasses. He was suitably dressed even if he was not in Aspen, because today, it's very cold here in Richardson. Picture him in the coffin: both hands folded on chest, legs together and straight,except you have to dress him in the outfit I just described above. And he's propped up on a chair. In the reading area.Inside the library. He's not dead of course, because he's snoring.

Should I sit on the chair next to him? But I worried that the rustling of my newspaper would wake him up, or what if I startle him when I sneeze? And I have not even asked myself if I can handle the snoring. Aw hell. No wonder, the decision to remain single is easier.

The Kite and the Kite Runner

I was at Barnes and Noble the other day searching through their shelves for a book about romance. But I could not find what I was looking for because I was in the non-fiction isle. When I asked the clerk where I could find such book, she said, "Romance will always be in the fiction isle, not non-fiction." I tried to be more specific, (no, not a romance novel) but she insisted - yup, fiction. And pointed me in the direction far enough so I can't bother her.

I came home and looked up the meaning of romance: relationship between 2 lovers, a novel dealing with idealized events remote from everyday life. Idealized. Remote. I prefer to dwell on the word relationship and lover. Which brings to mind my cousin. Her husband of 22 years moved in with Jesus last Monday. If I would dare to write a book about romance, I would look to Pearl's relationship with her lover - her husband and friend,Wayne. And I would insist to Barnes and Noble that it should be shelved in the non-fiction isle.

Wayne, at one point in their relationship told Pearl, "I have nothing to give you, but I can give you to the world." What does he mean by that? He fitted Pearl with wings, with the instruction: You will be the kite, I will be the kite runner. But though I hold the string, know that you are free to soar with the wind. I will release enough string only as I see that you can handle the freedom of the wind. But always remember, one day, my hand can no longer hold the string, but you can still feel my heart and you can still hear my voice: Pearl, let go of me. Be free and soar like the eagle.
Shalom in Adonai, Wayne.

Video Courtesy-Worshipvideo -Thanks.

On saving water and J.D. Salinger

I finally took a shower today. The other day when I told my ex-boyfriend that I don't shower anymore because all I do is write, he said: "Babe, writers do take showers, you know." By the way, he didn't dump me because I reek of onion-you-didn't-want-in-your burger, no, he dumped me because I refused to shave my mustache. Shave, wax, make it disappear, whatever. And if you're curious why he still calls me "babe" it's because I insist on it. (I know, I'm just sick that way.) I told him I will agree to let him go, only if he promised to continue calling me "babe" as long as I live, even when I'm already in a nursing home playing with my teeth. He said fine, it's a small price to pay for his freedom from a mustachioed Asian.

Anyway, I've been reading about J.D. Salinger, the recluse author of Catcher in the Rye. His house sat on a hundred acres of land in Vermont and at the back of his house was a concrete bunker where he holed up to write. Salinger hid from the press or anyone who fawned on him, he refused to give interviews and after the first printing of Catcher, instructed his publisher to not put his picture at the back of the book, because he didn't want people to recognize him and stop him on the street.

Salinger became famous for not wanting to be famous. So I'm thinking: If I continue to not take a shower maybe I'll get famous, (as a freak or whatever) but then if I get famous, I'd be forced to take a shower, you know. Naah, I don't really want to be famous, but maybe just famous enough to be stalked. By Hugh Grant. Hugh Jackman. This is sooo not wrong.

It's Always Too Soon To Quit

Video Courtesy- Signal20jim -THANKS

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

Living it- whatever "it" means

I have made the decision to live the writer's life and with that comes the excitement of writing all day long. And being broke all month long. I had read that one way to get back at your kids is to spend all their inheritance, so I did. (if $399 dollars can be called an inheritance) I also worked on making her feel guilty by telling her sob stories about me just sitting at home and not going anywhere anymore and showing her that this is all I eat now. "Mom, I take you out to eat 3 times a week and I am sending you to Europe for your birthday,enough already and finish that book." Well, I decided to be more difficult so I said: "I am old and have this persistent writer's block, I need to live in Germany for at least 2 months to finish it." I had to throw in "old" to make her feel more guilty and obligated. Our phone conversation got disconnected and I haven't heard from her since.

Happy Valentines

Snowy day in Texas

Look what I saw from my patio! This cold weather calls for something hot in my stomach and I'm not talking about hot tea. I'll pretend I'm European and drink vino at 730 in the morning.

Free but not healthy

Last Sunday, when I was at the Asian market, I stopped by the freebie table where a lady was handing out free tasting of glutinous peanut balls. If you buy a bag of peanut balls, you will get a free can of peanut soup. I thought: When did the Chinese learn to give free stuff? You can't even exchange goods after you leave their store, well, the freebie can of peanut soup had an expiration date of 2/2010. Anyway, while checking the cans of instant breakfast that she had on the table, I bought this one. It's ready to eat from the can,and it was really good- except I was thinking of the poisonous lead in the can.

God knows I'm not a health freak, but "canned" and "instant" just don't go well in my stomach. I looked at the ingredients in the can and I remembered the bag of blended black rice and some dried jujube in my pantry. The reason they were in my pantry was because at one point in my life, when I was struggling with hot as hell flashes and evil moods, I attempted healthy eating. But the healthy lifestyle just kills me, so I stopped. Anyway, wash the rice and the jujube then boil them to death, sugar to your taste and you can think you're eating healthy - at least the Chinese think so. This is really good though - I swear.

Distractions

Yesterday, I felt like the boy who burped in church. A growling stomach is not cool regardless where you are, so when my stomach started growling ten minutes into the preaching, I panicked. I clutched my bag and held it against my stomach, I tried to hold my breath, I sat sideways and crossed my leg only to hear some more grinding - my stomach was grinding water! The preacher said something funny and everybody laughed. I couldn't. I was busy lecturing my stomach. Shut up! Why are you doing this? Didn't I stuff you with 2 slices of stale Korean bread, a bowl of cereal with 3-month old milk, and last Fridays drumstick and breast from Popeyes Chicken? That was just an hour ago - at 8 this morning for heavens sake!

The pastor preached about contentment; to be happy with what you've been given and yet my stomach rebelled -it didn't know to be thankful. Food is food - stale or not. I begged God to stop the stomach noise and God answered my prayer, but then the lady in front of me started cracking her neck or was it her jaw? Or can you even do that to your jaw? Or why would you even do that now that my stomach is quiet and resting?

I thought I'd better stop minding the neck cracker and pay attention to the preacher, but then my stomach woke up and started imagining donuts waiting at the fellowhip hall. I was distracted again and missed half the message, but the pastor wrapped with a comforting note: Be wise in your eating and if you want to eat healthy then do it, but just don't think that you can increase your days by eating healthy. God knows the day and time of your arrival, it was preordained, the same thing with your departure.

So ladies, if your man is addicted to grease or alcohol, stop nagging them into submission to live healthy. Don't be a nag hag, it will not get you anywhere, instead say to him nicely: Honey, go ahead, eat, drink and I'll remarry. Sounds peaceful doesn't it?

I will name him Timothy

She became very ill from amoebic dysentery, she fell into a coma, doctors pumped her with medications to rouse her from the coma then doctors found out she was pregnant. The doctors explained to her the side effects of the medications she just ingested: It could be a stillbirth or if the baby lives he will be deformed due to the irreversible damage caused by the medicine. You might want to consider terminating the pregnancy.

Pam Tebow said: No, I will not play God. And she almost lost the baby 4 times during the pregnancy. And just like Hannah, the mother of Samuel in the bible, she begged God for the baby to live and promised to name him Timothy and dedicate him to His service - I will make him a preacher, she bargained. And God granted her wish plus so much more.

On August 14, 1987 Timothy Tebow was born in Makati, Philippines and became the first sophomore to win college football's highest award - the Heisman Trophy. And this Sunday, February 7, 2010, in a 30 second ad that costs Focus on the Family 2.5 million dollars, Tim Tebow will speak about his conviction -life is precious.

So, to the people who protests about this ad, I say - tough..sh..,
If you don't like it, I suggest you put a straw in your beer so you can use both hands to cover your ears, then close your eyes and only open it when the ad for sodas you don't need and cars you can't afford are pitched by women with impossible breasts and men with impossible abs comes on. Go ahead I dare you.

It is what it Is

Decide for yourself. Click here.

Sluggish Today

Today is February 1, 2010 and I don't feel like writing but to my blog readers who are my inspiration to keep blogging and write my book, I have to keep going and hopefully you will crawl with me to the finish line.

This morning I received a one line email from my editor: Is it a book yet? Yeah, right. Regardless that I arrived without money, I can say I have arrived because, I don't do anything now except what I've always wanted to do - read and write. But if God calls me home before I finish writing this book, I will die begging.

"I can finally call myself a writer," I told Chat the other day. "You are a writer." she said. True in a sense because I have all the characteristics of a writer: a recluse with mental issues and broke. I can handle keeping the first 2 but I would like to improve the 3rd one. I've never wanted anything but to write this book, but more than that is to finish it. And right now I need something magical to happen like...stay focused in writing this book? Because the only way to improve "broke" is to stop being a writer and become a published author. Whadya think?