Distractions

Yesterday, I felt like the boy who burped in church. A growling stomach is not cool regardless where you are, so when my stomach started growling ten minutes into the preaching, I panicked. I clutched my bag and held it against my stomach, I tried to hold my breath, I sat sideways and crossed my leg only to hear some more grinding - my stomach was grinding water! The preacher said something funny and everybody laughed. I couldn't. I was busy lecturing my stomach. Shut up! Why are you doing this? Didn't I stuff you with 2 slices of stale Korean bread, a bowl of cereal with 3-month old milk, and last Fridays drumstick and breast from Popeyes Chicken? That was just an hour ago - at 8 this morning for heavens sake!

The pastor preached about contentment; to be happy with what you've been given and yet my stomach rebelled -it didn't know to be thankful. Food is food - stale or not. I begged God to stop the stomach noise and God answered my prayer, but then the lady in front of me started cracking her neck or was it her jaw? Or can you even do that to your jaw? Or why would you even do that now that my stomach is quiet and resting?

I thought I'd better stop minding the neck cracker and pay attention to the preacher, but then my stomach woke up and started imagining donuts waiting at the fellowhip hall. I was distracted again and missed half the message, but the pastor wrapped with a comforting note: Be wise in your eating and if you want to eat healthy then do it, but just don't think that you can increase your days by eating healthy. God knows the day and time of your arrival, it was preordained, the same thing with your departure.

So ladies, if your man is addicted to grease or alcohol, stop nagging them into submission to live healthy. Don't be a nag hag, it will not get you anywhere, instead say to him nicely: Honey, go ahead, eat, drink and I'll remarry. Sounds peaceful doesn't it?