Simplify

When people ask me why I continue to pay for an apartment when I am gone most of the time, my answer is : Because I can. (Though not really) I keep this apartment because I love it here. I've never felt this much attachment to anything until this apartment. Maybe it's old age. I didn't even bat an eyelash, or felt any sentimental pang when we sold our home, but I swore once that I will leave this apartment only when I'm in a casket. Other women spend their money on clothes and shoes, I spend mine on this apartment. So when I walked in here yesterday from the airport, I was so giddy, I wanted to twirl like the woman you see in the movies, when the man in a sweeping motion points to a house and tells her: "Yes, baby, this is all yours." Then I opened my eyes and I said, "Oh chit, I have to clean all these?"

I am still drunk from that 17 hour flight time from the East, but at least I can now tell you what day it is and who the President of the United States is. (Oh god.) Today, I scrubbed and vacuumed the dead little insects off of my bath tub, and when I got to the kitchen and checked the pantry, I was awed, amused, and amazed. And disgusted. I have all these stuff? I checked each item and can't honestly say that I really needed them or used them even. Look at all this money sitting and getting expired in this dark shelves!

After 7 months of living minimally in Cebu, buying groceries only as I cook them and not for when "I might need them," I felt so wasteful staring at the unopened boxes, bottles and cans of foods. I lived like this before I left? Well, my self-righteousness didn't last long. I moved the offending items and threw them into a box. I will ship them to Cebu. Oh wait. And Spend the money to ship them to Cebu? Can I use them there? Probably not, but for now, it will relieve me of my guilt.