I think I'll live

It was not food poisoning or watching tv on a 60" screen that caused my nausea. It was caused by me quitting Lexapro cold turkey. For 2 weeks I was sick as a dog, instead of feeling better as the week passes, I felt more sick that I started praying for God to just take me home. Then it dawned on me that it must be a symptom from stopping on my anti-depressant. For you purists out there, you won't understand about anti-depressants, and I don't expect you to, because even the medical community hasn't totally embraced the fact that mental health affects the body and can be responsible at times for our physical ailments.

So why did I quit Lexapro? when it worked and took care of my anxiety attacks? Well, for one, it is very expensive, second, because I hate taking medications. Well, am back on it now so I can live again. So tomorrow, am flying to Banff in Canada to do fly fishing. Besides golf, fishing is the only other sport I like, but I could not make myself eat fish when I was fishing, so I quit fishing. (I could not kill and eat) When I was in Europe I met the guy who owns a fly fishing company in Canada, that's where I'm going tomorrow. Here's his website.

I will post pictures when I get back, until then ya'll have a good weekend.

2012 Preparation

Ladies and gents, please welcome the FLOTUS. Blackie O painting John Agbi's home, an Afghanistan disabled vet. Uhhh... yeah? Yup. (pause for a projectile vomit here) She needs the exercise I guess, especially if it's true that she ate more than any other guests of the 'butter ya'll' Paula Deen. Here see what else Deen said besides the following.

"You know what their favorite foods are — it's hot wings, you know, those kinds of foods that are not necessarily top-of-the-list healthy foods, so she's no different than the rest of us," Deen said.



I've always wondered how a butt floss feels.





*Photos lifted from http://www.michellesmirror.com/

Where's the beef?

I went out for my walk this morning and I had to cut it short because it was too windy. Walking on the treadmill is always a last resort for me, because I prefer walking on the pavement, so I came back and made breakfast. I can survive all day without a full meal as long as I have bread, and even if I have a full meal, I still don't feel full unless I eat bread.(I thought you need that trivia.)



Ok, so I am always in a "starting" mode, but "never finishes anything" according to my ex-(whatever). I am thinking of not eating meat anymore. Considering that I don't eat vegetables, this is an elephantine project.
I like some fruits so I'll start with them.

Anti-capitalist, anti-America

I love America. And I love free enterprise. The same way I respect one's right to free speech and the right to protest, but this "Occupy Wallstreet" protesters kind of rub my scales the wrong way. They are mad because of the banks "greed", which is understandable right off the surface. But do they really understand what for and why they're out there? Did they stop to think that when these "greedy" bankers were bailed out, there was no referendum, asking the tax paying public if we agree to it? No, the politicians collectively passed the basket and handed billions to their friends--the greedy bankers.

So I think these protesters are barking at the wrong tree. Hating the rich and the capitalists? I want to see them "occupy" every politicians home and stay there until they get Washington right. Otherwise, suck it up whiners, because your actions belies your ideals. Or your intellect.
Pooping on a police car to voice out your sentiment about corporate America makes as much sense as scratching your toe because your nose is itching.

Eat the Rich? What the..

They hate "capitalism" so much so that they post their updates through their iphones, an invention that would not have been possible were it not for the capitalist, Steve Jobs. These OWS reminds me of a group of protesters composed of young, idealistic Filipinos, back when they wanted the closure of the US bases in the Philippines. They carried placards, saying, "Down with imperialist America", while they're wrapped in Levi's jeans and drinking Coca cola. And when they were not on the street protesting, they were found reclining and strategizing at Mcdonald's.

I don't make this observation lightly or say this sentiment blindly. In 1986, I was one of the hundreds of thousands of Filipinos lined up on the highway of Edsa, Philippines for the "People Power" revolution. But I can't say it was born out of patriotism, idealism or civic duty. My friend Juliet and I were there because we felt left out and hungry, because our housekeeper hastily left to join the swelling crowd. So we went and joined the festival. Now, am too old to be joining any festival, but I belong to this.

It's not food poisoning

Since I got back here in Dallas, I have been struggling with respiratory allergies and I just could not feel good. Then the other night about midnight, I was so nauseated but unable to vomit, I felt the floor spinning and I was sweating cold sweats. This symptom is the same as what I had in 1996 when I had food poisoning in Cebu, eating clams. But I doubt that this is food poisoning. I think this is because I have been watching tv and this is motion sickness, what with having to move my eyeballs around on that 60" screen. Ok, I'm ghetto, we've already established that, but believe me, this symptom didn't start until a week ago, the day when I didn't go to sleep til 1 a.m. watching Netflix. To prove my diagnosis, I bought this conch yesterday and ate it like I'm on death row on my last meal. I ate these and slept on the floor, away from the temptation of that nausea emitting screen.See, I woke up feeling good this morning.

Distractions, A-musement

When I said I haven't watched television for more than 10 years, I didn't mean it's because I didn't have a tv set. I have one the size of a chest freezer, but who cares, it's strong enough to hold books and whatever I wanted to load on top of it. Chat tried to convince me that to get the most out of my chest freezer, I need to at least have cable, but I just could not be talked into that because watching tv does not make me intelligent, or improve my memory. One thing it does, is make my bones stiff and my butt wide.

"When you read, you sit on your butt for hours, so what's the difference with watching tv?" "Just leave me alone." Is my constant answer. But the other day, I just could not resist it when she came with 2 men to install this wide and flat contraption in my bedroom. "Now, look mom, this is called Netflix video streaming. No pressure, you watch it when you want it." I admit, I heart the thing. And I heart it sooo much. But I'm not stupid, I know why Chat's doing this, she's worried I'd get into seniordating.com again if I'm not distracted.

A woman's need.....for a working brain

So here we go again. A woman's need for a man. Ok, but let me get something straight; when I call someone a "friend" I mean, he/she is not an enemy. I need not have a close relationship with someone for me to call him or her a friend. I am saying this because you might wonder why I talk about my "friends." Don't worry, I don't talk about my close friends, especially when I know that she reads my blog.

Anyway, since I don't have much to talk about me, we'll talk about another "friend." This happened a while back but it stays on my mind. My friend met this guy on the dating site. He wants to meet with her, she wants to meet him and so on and so forth. The date was set for him to come to her, but the guy could not make it for some reason or another. The guy lives in another State, so she offered to go to him instead. Fine, I don't have a problem with that. As long as he pays for my plane ticket, of course. But no, she took the bus and paid for it. I asked, "Why would you do that?" "Well, if I wait for him to come, it would take a while." Fair enough.
"I am bringing my good pots and pans and my computer." She bragged. "I can understand the computer, but why the pots and pans?" "Well, I will be cooking when I get there and I want to use my good pots and pans." This conversation is getting retarded, I thought.

She got there and she finds that the guy does not have a washer and dryer and she hates it. I hope he has a servant, I told her. "No, I am doing his laundry and mine now." This woman is retarded, I thought. She stayed with him for a week and came back to tell me more horror stories. He used her computer and was on every porn sites known to mankind and animals like him. "Well, thank God, you left him. Stay away from that bum." "We plan for him to come see me in a month, or as soon as I can put together some money to get him a plane ticket." Oh mylanta, I am getting retarded, why am I even listening to this retarded woman.

Chat tells me that I attract this kind of people in my life. True. But I love it because they're agitating alright, but stimulating and energizing nonetheless. Energizing because I want to bang her head with her good pots and pans. And stimulating because I sit here squeezing my brain, trying to come up with a good reason why I should cut her some slack.

Blinders and Blinded

Someone said that we all have daddy issues and we manifest this by the kind of men we choose. Of course, it is easy to spot this malady on other people, but when it pertains to us, we are blind to it. You know how we'd talk about other womens' men and we say things like: "Omg, what is she smoking? He's so ugly." And we can't or don't see that we are keeping a man who's not only ugly, he's also lazy.

I have this friend whose boyfriend weighs 300 lbs, with blood sugar that is twice that number and who can eat your grocery at 3x that number. With a shoe size the circumferrence of my waist. Imagine that glob of living cells parked on her (or anyone's) couch everyday, because he doesn't have a car and no place to go because he doesn't have a job. And he doesn't have a job, because? "Because he is working on his disability application." My friend says. "What's his disability?" I asked. "He is badly diabetic." ( I wanted to tell her that if one is diabetic, badly is not a necessary adverb. )

Based on what I have seen of my friends, I wonder and even fear at times that I would become like them.....that out of desperation or loneliness, I would just pick any male just to be able to say that "I have a man." Even at 12 years old, I already knew I didn't want a man without a college degree or without a job. I have to know that he is motivated to improve himself. I did not require one to be rich because a person can be 'rich' from inheritance, but I wanted one who has the integrity and the passion to work and be a provider out of his own sweat.

So I have been pondering: At what point in my life when I would become desperate for a man? And what would cause me to be blind and not see that it's better to be single and lonely than to have a bum causing my bed spring to sag, flipping channels on my tv (thank God I don't have one) and eating my anchovies while waiting for the government check to be approved? I need to stop pondering on this question, because right now I could feel my blood alcohol level going up.