They're Gorgeous

After I left church today, I went to return some videos I rented at the red box at Tom Thumb when I realized I locked my keys in the car. I was furious at myself but then I saw a fireman at the check out counter so I approached him and asked him if he could help me unlock my car. He puckered his lip, nodded his head and asked where I was parked. Outside was a firetruck where 2 other firemen were waiting for him so he told them I needed help and they quickly jumped out of their seat and got a wire/pole and here they are-Anyone who helps me is gorgeous to me, so all 3 of them are, but the middle one is especially cute with that salt and pepper hair. When I grow up I want to marry him. And don't blame me because I love me some fireman.

A Sense of Place

When Don was alive, we always said that home is "wherever Chat is" but after he died, I felt displaced and wasn't sure where I belong anymore. I tried living in Cebu, and I only lasted 9 months, then 2 years later I tried it again and it lasted 6 months. My Filipino ex offered to build me a hut somewhere on his farm in Negroes, "there, you'll have the mountain air and the sea breeze" he said. NJ, my American ex who owns a business in Malaysia, offered to sponsor my resident visa through his company if I want to live in Malaysia. Both offers confused me more than it comforted me.

So I told myself, "No, thanks. I am a vagabond." And hearing myself say that, comforted me and still does. Chat was very supportive of a vagabond mother and because she's very independent, I didn't feel that she needed me close by anyway. So I started simplifying my life and cutting down expenses with the idea that sooner than later I will be moving to Cebu; I stopped buying anything besides the essentials, I bought an old car that I paid cash so I am not tied down to a monthly payment and I stopped using credit which to this day, I am proud to say I have no debts. I live where I live now when I could live somewhere cheaper because I can't compromise on the quality of the neighbors and the neighborhood.

Then God spoke subtly through Chat's wisdom teeth. When Chat called me 4 weeks ago frustrated, afraid and in pain, I felt needed. I felt my place, a sense of place because normally Chat would just take care of things and tell me later. Finally, I realized: I can not be anywhere but here. I have to live close by Chat. And with this realization, I suddenly feel the need to replace my drapes, buy a new sofa, rearrange my apartment and hopefully still have enough money left to buy real flowers, not cuttings like this one which the apartment grounds crew were more than happy to give me after I practiced my Spanish on them.

Extending Grace

I stopped by Pier 1 Imports after work today because I am thinking of replacing my living room drapes. I found the design that I like but I have to get it at another store. As I was leaving, I found this wine hut - the tag was $199 down to 20.00. I just had to buy it, regardless that I don't have the space for it or the wine to put in it.

The store clerk loaded it in my car and as soon as I was backing out to leave, I saw a young man and woman in their 20's running towards me, the lady was red in the face, sweaty, crying and hysterical, "Ma'am, we have an emergency, we need gas for our car." She was standing by my side window and the man was behind my car. I told her to go inside the store and ask for help there, she started spitting on my windshield and screamed at me "You stupid bitch."

I backed up and the guy pounded on my trunk and she started screaming again, " Bitch, you just hit my boyfriend, you just hit my boyfriend." Now I got scared, I was fumbling for my cell phone and called 911. When they saw me talking on my cell phone they started running away from me and I watched them cross the heavy traffic to the bridge to the east side of the freeway. They kept running until they were out of my sight. The 911 operator kept me on the line getting more description of them. I was shaken but not as much as feeling sorry for them because I know they were high on something and after all, they are someone's kid whose parents are out there wondering and worried about them. I think God put them in my path so I can pray for them -God spared me from them and extended His grace to me, so I have no choice but extend the same grace that I was given.

What The...

Victory is not making it to the finish line, victory is knowing when to quit.

Oxtail Anyone?

Last week when I was catsitting at Chat's house I found a recipe in one of her Malaysian cookbooks. Today I got bored (again) so I made it- tangy oxtail.
Ingredients:

8 shallots -chopped

8 garlic - chopped

6 red chilies, seeded and chopped

1 0z fresh galangal

2 tbsp flour

1 tbsp ground turmeric

8-10 pcs oxtail

2 tbsp oil

1 (14 oz) can plum tomatoes- drained

2 stalks lemon grass halved and bruised

handful of kaffir lime leaves 8 oz tamarind juice

2 tbsp sugar

salt to taste

1. Grind the first 4 ingredients to a coarse paste

2. Mix flour and turmeric then dredge the meat to coat and set it aside

3. Heat oil and stir in the spice paste until it smells fragrant, add the meat and brown all sides then add tomatoes, lemon grass, lime leaves and tamarind juice. Add water to cover the meat and let it boil. Skim off any fat and then let it simmer for 2 hours.

4. Stir in the sugar and salt and cook uncovered for the next 30-45 minutes

(Don't omit the sugar because it tempers the tangy-ness but I don't like it when I am able to taste the sweetness, so I should only use 1 teaspoon on mine. )

No Compromise

Give a man everything he wants, and everything will not be everything - Kant

We want somebody's spouse, why can't you be like so and so, we want somebody's house, her kitchen is more spacious than mine and her closet has more clothes, we want somebody's job, it's less stressful. We want everything else.....besides what we have.

Marriage is the most demanding of all relationships. And yet, men and women alike pursue it like it's the next expected step after breathing. When we're single, we want to be married, when married, we want to be unmarried. Even my friends are confused of what I should be so they sent me this idea as a compromise in between.
I definitely don't need this, because I want one who will hide in the garage and pretends he's working on his car when I ask him to vaccuum the floor.

Indiana-Police?

Twenty-one years ago, I worked as a scheduler and my job was calling people to set up their insurance exams. I spoke with a very heavy Filipino accent, but understandable nonetheless. My company serves several different insurance companies and one day, I was calling a client who applied for insurance with Indianapolis Life. "Hi, this is Ritchie with Indiana-police and I need to set up your insurance physical...." Click. The person on the other line hangs up on me. I called again and as soon as I open my mouth, I hear click. So I asked my co-worker, a 23-year old blond, green eyed aspiring musician named Frank to try and call him, see if he would hang up on a man, I thought maybe this client didn't like women. Frank is very sweet and soft spoken with very thin balding hair that he nourished to grow past his shoulder. "No, it's not about you being a woman, it's your accent, he thinks you're with the police force."

Why am I bringing this up? because Lydia, a reader of my blog sent me a link to a concert review done by a blogger named Elise. Elise wrote about Journey's concert in Indianapolis and people just about skewered her for her opinion - which by the way, you and I are entitled to also. Ok, she didn't like "My Arnel's" tight white pants, she thinks he jumps too much and that Neal should cut down on his guitar solo. That's what float her boat, would you wish her ill for that? It's cute that people rally behind "My Arnel" with the loyalty of the American pit bull and the ferocity of the Taliban, but it's hoi polloi to skewer people who dislike what we like.

Back in September 2008, I tackled Andy Greene with Rolling Stone magazine because he took Arnel Pineda's statement out of context, which is not the same as speaking out your opinion. Another reason why I am also more forgiving of Elise, is because she must be like me -an amateur, or newly self-appointed music enthusiast or she would not say what she said "I didn’t detect any trace of an accent when Pineda sang, so it was a little strange to hear our city name mispronounced." Hello? Have you heard (of ) the The Beattles (or what's left of them) and the lippy Mick Jagger? Listen to them talk and listen to them sing. I think Randy Jackson would say - "Shut yo mama dawg, just sing dawg, just sing."

It's unfamiliar, but it's safe

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Tigger hurt his left leg somehow while Chat was out of town, I don't know what he did to hurt himself, but he started dragging his left leg Saturday night. I was hysterical when I noticed it, I called Chat and she was ready to get back on the next plane back to Dallas. She was besides herself when she got home because she was concerned that Tigger would have to be sedated and she was thinking of the worse case scenario. "What if he has a tumor and needs surgery?" I could not concentrate at work and my stomach was in a knot all day - I could not eat or think because Chat was a basket case and Tigger has become a big part of my life too.

From the animal hospital Chat called and told me that Tigger did not need surgery, did not have to be sedated and that the x-ray showed that he might have sprained his leg but that it will heal soon enough. She told me Tigger put on a fight when they were trying to put him in his cage and was shaking and meowing in the car all the way to the emergency hospital. Chat theorized that Tigger was meowing not from the pain but from the fear of not knowing where they were taking him, wondering where he was going, and thinking that he was going to be hurt. And this reminds me of how we react when God tries to get us out of our comfort zone so He can take us to the next level. When things are unfamiliar, when we don't understand what's going on, we think that God is not on our side, that God has abandoned us, when actually, He is taking us to the healer. The trip is frightening, the road is unfamiliar,but His goal, if we trust Him is to heal us and make us better.

What are you saying?

When I first came to America, I chose to be a Republican not because of any ideals or principles I have but because "Republican" sounded exotic and classy. Any word that has "crat" in it, just doesn't appeal to me. Then someone asked me a stupid question, "Why are you a Republican, are you rich?" I said, "No, but what's wrong with being rich? I don't see poor people hiring and giving out jobs, have you?"

And I refused to be branded a Republican, I am not - I am just a run-away train. Sans the teleprompter, the "agent of hope and change" can mumble just as stupid as his Texan predecessor. Watch this.

At the moment

My friend gave me this mamon cupcake that she made and I bought this pan desal (brown bread) at the Asian Market, it's really not like the pan desal we are used to in the Philippines but good enough for me. This is breakfast today.

I love waking up early, today I sat in my patio eating my bread and drinking my coffee and watch the sunrise.
I bought this Chinese lantern yesterday to add color to my patio