Living It Or Imagining It

I have this fantasy that I still nurture. I have not given up on it because this is what keeps me going when I feel that the walls are closing in on me: To get lost from everybody who knows me; not tell anyone where I'm at, incommunicado - maybe just for a year or two. With only my purse and my passport, I want to walk into an airport, browse through different airline counters and their scheduled foreign destination at the moment, then buy a ticket for the destination that catch my fancy. Why would I want to do that to my friends? Beats me if I know.

One thing that I am blessed with is that Chat is very supportive of my lunacy but the only thing she warns me not to do is to be totally out of her radar. And that's the only reason why I have not done this fantasy of mine. (Besides money, of course.) But also because, if I execute this plan, then I am left with nothing else to fantasize about. Didn't someone say that life imagined is more exciting than life lived?

Well, 2008 is now lived or imagined. I find that what we regret most are the things we didn't do, than on the things we did. Last year brought a lot of rahrah moments for me; I have no regrets for last year because I am slowly learning that I don't have to fit anyone's mold but Gods.
I know these are well intentioned friends when they tell me -"Now that you're single, you should..( fill in the blanks) and I'd say, "Yeah, I should." Then you try to live up to their expectations. And even without our friends expectations, we have this unspoken rule that we subconsciously impose on ourselves anyway. We have to be careful with this should have and could have bit- it is distressing at best and a prison wall at worst. Of course, I'm not advocating a world without rules, I'm just saying we have to be more discerning - just because it's popular, does not mean it's right.

So for 2009, let's take the journey with less baggage. In the Old Testament there was the Law summarized into The Ten Commandments, which the Jews have broken down into 613 imperatives - what to do when and how. I am too bipolar and mercurial for that. Jesus way is simpler, "If your heart condemns you not, then you have peace with God." No wonder I love Jesus.