To Date or Not To Date

Today, this new hire at work asked me if I am "presently dating." I gave him the long version. Within a year after my husband died, I had 3 men who offered to take care of me, but one was killed and the other one died. How rude. I would have been widowed twice in that year. And the 3rd one, well, he didn't really care about me, marriage was just some bright idea that came to his head when he was evicted from his apartment - he was jobless and homeless, I wasn't.

Dating is hard work, I told him. You have to take a shower everyday and brush your teeth 3 times a day. Thank God, I am not Caucasian or I would have to shave my legs on top of that too.
You see, men at the beginning would take you out to eat and go to a movie and wash your car for you, even when it's clean. In return, you try to look good for them and act nice. I just don't have the energy to stay nice that long.

Why can't we just be ourselves right from the start? Like, men when you come to visit me, be yourself; plop yourself in my couch, prop up your feet on my coffee table and don't move at all. Except to reach out for the remote and the popcorn. And I should not worry about me in my oversize, mismatched jammies at 2 in the afternoon. And in the restaurant, I don't want to act demure and order a salad, I want to hog down on pork chops and 3 plates of rice, is that ok?

I just don't know anymore. I hear so many horror stories of my girlfriends relationships, I am weary about dating again. Last year, when some guy showed interest in me, I asked him teasingly if he was only interested in my US citizenship. He got offended and I didn't hear from him for a while, then last month he started calling again and really wanted to see me, I was beginning to believe that he's more serious than I thought. Maybe he wants to steal my kidney.