Lately, I noticed that I'm leaning more to the left. And I don't mean my political views; I'm talking about my left leg getting shorter than my right leg. Don't you just hate it when your doctor prophesied about it and it happens? I started to wonder what I can do to make it even up with my right leg, I thought: bungee jumping? You know, where they tie your legs and flip your guts up your throat and hope your dentures doesn't fall off. Naaah, I can live with a short left leg. Actually, in the bigger scheme of things losing an inch or two is nothing compared to losing a toe or the whole leg or losing half of my brains function. So instead of listing down my wish list for Christmas, here's my list of things to be thankful for.
1. I'm thankful that Christmas "season" only lasts 31 days.
2. I'm thankful that merchants give us 1 day to rest from the "season" before they bombard us with more red stuff for Valentines.
3. I'm thankful that this 1 day can be used to return hideous gifts to the store and exchange it for cash.
4. I'm thankful that I don't have a "Valentine" because I don't want to use that cash to buy him something.
5. I'm thankful that I lost half of my memory, then I'm only half tacky.
Santa broke his hip...read what he says.
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