Of cats and men

Here's my advice to parents who has kids who owns animals: Pretend you're dead or that your allergies will be in the deadly category if you're near any animals. Because if you don't, trust me, you'll end up taking care of them, as if they're your grandkids. Anything in the house that moves and eats and doesn't clean up is not good news.(That is why I'm still single.) Christmas time always lands me a job I don't want....taking care of Chat's cat. She and her husband always spend Christmas with his parents in Colorado and I spend Christmas in Dallas. Alone with the cat.

This cat is male and very demonstrative; as soon as I come in to their house, he backs himself against the wall and gives you that look, like warning you not to come near him. And if you force yourself on him, he'll let you hold him and caress him, but just long enough for you to want more and drive you crazy. (Someone said that if a woman employ this trick on a man she can get a 5 carat diamond) Well, if I've learned anything this year, it is that next Christmas, by all means I will have a man, even if I have to rent him and clean him up, just so I don't appear lonely and make Chat feel compelled to leave me her cat. If I sound like I am complaining, it's probably because...I am.