In Perspective

What should you do when you're still awake at 3 a.m. and you're reflectively praying about the state of the world and the condition of mankind, then you stop praying because you want to dwell on the condition of your waist? The muffin top and your bat wing arms and not to mention the bonus of random hair. Or should I say hairs? This picture I took earlier when I went to the mall and found this kids chilling with their equally hungry dog should put things in perspective. I guess I have to pray again, harder. Or go to sleep.

Improvise and Indulge

Ok, am here in Cebu in my crib, in my postage-stamp-size apartment, and because it is that miniature, besides this on-the-wall hot water heater in the shower, I have no other conveniences like a kitchen or even hot water from the sink to wash dishes. Actually, I don't have a kitchen sink because when I built this addition next to my ancestral home, I only had in mind that I would only be here on short stays, therefore, I built it like it is just a hotel room. I have a bed and chair, refrigerator and a big bathroom, even twice the size of what I have in the US. But now I realized that this was poorly designed and I should have considered at least a kitchenette. Oh well, so I improvise.I just boil water and pour it on the plates in the sink.When I am here, there are so many fruits I like to eat, and of course, you'd think mangoes, but it's not. It's this fruit, sapote or we call them chicos here. In the US ,my favorite fruit is the persimmons, here, sapote it is.

It's just nerves....but it's killing me

Today is Thursday, the 26th of January and I am sitting here fretting over what I should do first: Dust and vacuum my apartment, pack for my trip tomorrow or sit here and tell the world how my friggin nerves feel like a wet and cold dog shivering inside me. My anxiety, if I let it, is about to get the best of me and make me a full blown hermit. This is the main reason why I push myself to continue doing the things I don't find enjoyable anymore. It used to be that the preparation and the anticipation of travel gets me high as a kite, but now, the amount of time I spend feeling nauseated and dizzy from anxiousness in anticipation of the trip makes me want to just crawl back in where Howard Hughes came out from. But then again, he and I only shared one thing in common.... and it's not money. So while he just goes out and get what he wants, I have to wrestle friends to share what they're snorting or guzzling that would calm my nerves so I can look like this, and make the trip..I can't be imprisoned by anxiety, or pretty soon I won't leave the friggin house anymore. So tomorrow I will endure the over 20 hours of travel time to my crib in Cebu, and if I make it there alive, I will treat ya'll to lots of pictures. I promise. Something like this one.
*Above picture I stole from this site:http://www.travel-philippines.com/locations/palawan/3-sabang.htm

Here we go again....

Happiness? That's nothing more than health and a poor memory - Albert Schweitzer

In 2006 I started this blog because that was when I started to attempt a nomadic lifestyle and that was also when I felt I wanted to test myself as to how far I can go doing crazy things and justify it by saying, "well, I turned 50 so I went crazy." But saying that is just half truth, the other reason was also because I lost my husband 2 years prior. (He went and moved in with Jesus.) At that time I was pretty much all over the place because my body didn't know what to do with myself. And I mean that literally. Because of how my husband died, the trauma sent my body into the overdrive mode and that was when I first experienced what is called "anxiety attack." (Unless you've experienced this, you can't relate.) I ended up in the hospital because I didn't know what it was, but since then I've managed to manage it so I don't get fitted with a straight jacket.

So what am I trying to say here? I really don't know, because it's 2:32 a.m. Dallas time and my mind is on overdrive again. Stress triggers my attacks and the last two weeks, I've been in the frying pan because of family and friends tragedies, so as the sun rises faithfully each morning, my anxiety is just as faithful in showing up after any amount of stress. Life is a gift and it's dynamic, it's a roller coaster and it's littered with drama and spiced with comedy . And it's ok because my rule of thumb is to take life with a grain of Xanax. (If only I could get my doctor to prescribe it so I don't have to bum from friends.)

Friendship

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell--you see, I have friends in both places- Mark Twain

In the area of friendship, I consider myself truly blessed. I have 4 sets of friends; my writer friends, my bible study friends and the two friends I've had for over 20 years, who's been with me through hell and back. I've always felt that the true measure of friendship is not by how much fun you've had with them through the years, but how much pain and suffering you've struggled through together. Here's another test of friendship: We see how quickly we rally behind a friend who's in a dire situation like death or illness or the demise of a relationship, but how quickly would you go to a friend and treat them to lunch to celebrate their big job promotion or hug someone who just received a large sum of money. And you do this without a tinge of jealousy or any ulterior motive, except that you're truly happy for them.

Jesus commands us to do good to those who hate us and to love our enemies, I'd like to add how about treating our friends better?

What's New?

When my girlfriends come to me with their giggly selves talking about a new relationship, I pretty much expect that they're intoxicated. They don't want input, they just want to pour out and I can't get a word in anyway because they're either stone in love and can't discern Monday from Friday, or they're simply stoned and can't see what I see. Their words will start with, "Ohh my!" and it goes insane from there.
"Oh my, he's not good, he's the best. He's not just sensitive, he's the most generous man I've ever met." And telling them to shut up would be like telling romance writers to use less superlatives.

Ok, so I'm cynical, but not really. I'm calling it as it is. You see this often with celebrities where they would announce to the whole world, how in love they are and how marvelous this new person is. Then you count the days or you can be generous and give them a year before they announce to the world again, that they're now dating other people. And the same insane cycle starts again. And this same thing happens to my friends too, except that they're not celebrities, so they can only announce it to me. And I don't tread lightly, I tell them: "Cut the crap and the superlatives, but after 2 years let's revisit your vocabulary. I will bet you my neighbors welfare check that the superlatives will become expletives." With this counsel, they'll roll their glassy eyes, shake their love-drunk head and mumble under their breath...Ooh Ritchie I pity you.

I'm not against finding your Umami,I'm not against falling in love and throwing caution to the wind, but just so you know the difference between "love" and "commitment" because the difference between the two is like heaven and hell. And except for a new loan, we're easily excited about anything new. A new man especially, regardless that we don't know how to operate them.

Before You Boycott Israel

"I will make you a greater nation, and so you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." When God said this to the Jews, HE meant every word of it. And quoting Dennis Miller, "The Muslims will want to go to the moon once Israel is set up there." I agree.

Happy Meal, Sue-Happy?

America is full of sue-happy people, it is a litigious society no doubt. There's a mother who sued Mcdonalds because she said that Mcdonald's is messing with her childrens head using the toys to persuade the kids to eat the Happy Meal. Ok, enlighten me. If you think that your kid should not eat a particular food, tell that kid "no"--if the kid persists and starts rearranging your furniture then beat that kid to a pulp until he/she understands who the parent is. I just can't understand why parents keep transferring their responsibility in raising their kids to the next person or to the next establishment.

Now, I don't know what to say about this guys case.

Kimchi -Onggi Pots

Growing up, I thought there was nothing else to eat in the world besides vegetables because my mom only fed us either leaves or roots. Always boiled and never fried. And when I complained, she'd say, "When you become rich, you can eat whatever you want." I then swore over my meat-deprived body that when I grow up, I will never eat vegetables ever again. And I really don't, unless it's the fermented kind. Kimchi is my favorite, that I had to learn to make it. Above is my cheap kimchi jar, but I wanted to show you how these jars are made in Korea. Watch this.
And here's the link to everything Kimchi.

It's the New year?

My friend Juliet once asked me why I don't have ads on my blog, and I said, "Well, because it makes the page look messy and dirty and I don't like it." She says, "Well, you're poor so you can't really afford not to have a messy looking blog." So, I thought: It's the new year let me get messy and put on the "Adsense" tab. On my last post, I mentioned that Colin Farrell and Jeff Bridges are "delicious" so now you see ads on cookies and burgers pouring down on the bottom of the post. Now, my question is: Assuming that ya'll would really click and buy something from those ads, how will Adsense pay me, since I haven't told them where to send me the money? I guess, I need to figure out where to sign up, huh?

Anyway, when I was in Cabo San Lucas I've made some friends and they sent me a set of pillow cases for Christmas, but the person they sent it through only gave it to me yesterday, which I felt is more fitting anyway because yesterday being the first day of the new year. It is hand made and I love it so much, I don't know what to do with it; frame it or really use it under my head. Regina, Ricardo, Ricky, Luis and Abraham....gracias desde el fondo de mi corazón.

Crazy Heart

I'm always behind on things, whether it is gossip, fashion or technology. So needless to say, I watched Crazy Heart just last night and not in the theater, but on video. And OMG! the soundtrack alone soothes my cholesterol hardened heart, not to mention the actors Colin Farrell and Jeff Bridges who are just so delicious. And who's this drunken eyes, raspy voiced Ryan Bingham? He's the guy who wrote the theme song of the movie. He's not bad himself, so please don't try to make him clear his throat.