As I am winding down to the  day I am supposed to leave to go back to the island, I am feeling this edginess, a slight touch of anxiety. I never feel this coming back here in the US, in fact, I get so giddy and feel high as a kite thinking of my landing in Dallas. I know why.

Leaving the island means I am heading in the direction closer to Chat, while leaving Dallas means farther away from her. Because I stay in this constant state of restlessness, regardless where I am, being close by Chat tempers the intensity of the angst. And if there's anybody who can transform my angst into a full blown euphoria, it's her.

Yesterday, she called very early. "Mom, if there's any place you can go to in the US, where would  it be?" "California." What I really meant  was San Francisco. "Oh good. This Saturday I will take you to San Francisco." When Chat says something like that, I don't wonder, it's as good as done. What I miss from a rich boyfriend or a rich husband she's more than fulfilled.  I've never been to San Francisco except inside the airport, so when she mentioned of the eating activities she has planned; crabs at the wharf, brunch at Pebble Beach and tapas bar, my stomach started growling. "Then to get your palate ready for the Philippines, we'll go to Kusina ni Tess." Oh Lordy, do I really need that?