It's the lust for the forbidden. The challenge. The enigma. No, I'm not talking about a man, I'm talking about being forbidden to fly on any day I want because my plane ticket is "cheap." So I'm going to sit here in this brain frying heat until May 22 to fly back to Dallas. The length of time I have to wait, is not really what bothers me---it's being told I can't go as I please.

All my friends know that I am a restless female with  anxiety disorder. And when I told Chat that I am happy and content here at the farm in the island, her reply was: We'll see. What she meant was, of course you're happy anywhere, but only for a moment, and then you start "running away" again. I hate it when she calls it "running away." Why can't she call it "running towards"? Could it be because I myself don't know where I'm running to? But why do I have to know what's on the other side of the fence? That's what makes life enigmatic and challenging.

That's why I am thinking of doing something really wild and crazy when I go back to Dallas. And this would really be possible if I can get on the plane in the next hour. Because tomorrow I might change my mind about everything, including flying back to Dallas. At all.