Preserving the Magic

Thank God, that I saved a copy before Chat took out the link. Because I don't flow with technology, the only way I know to preserve pictures and videos is put them in a box and store them in the closet. At least now, I have Blogger to store them for me.

When Chat came by my apartment the other day, she taunted me by playing Faithfully on her Iphone and my heart started to palpitate..hmmm....Magic.

Where Has the Magic Gone?

I should have listened to Chat when she told me not to join the forum. I have tried jumping in the shoutbox twice just so I can say that I tried, because I will try anything once but my eyes could not handle the multi-colored pingpong balls. But it's too late, the magic left after I became a member. Once you're registered you can easily go in and out of the AP shrine - the site I once thought of as mystical. The mystical became familiar and the familiar became ordinary.

"If you don't want to lose the magic or the mysticism just watch YouTube and stay away from the crowd unless you want your candle extinguished." There was wisdom there, now I know.
It was Chat who introduced me to the Journey/AP bandwagon but someone ticked her off so she left (the forum) and never looked back. She's still Journey crazy, worshipping them in the sideline.

But that's Chat, I'm still chasing the magic. But it's like eating ice cream and the law of diminishing returns. You take the first bite and uhmmm...so you keep eating hoping that the next spoonful will taste like the first one, but it doesn't. So you go on to find your next distraction. I went to Ross's site. Now there's still magic there because you can't get Ross to talk about himself but if you click on the horse it will emit gas for you. I didn't say it's cute, I said there's magic there.

Then I move on to Freddy Mercury, the guy who famously said " I won't be a rock star, I will be a legend." For crying out loud the guy is dead. Maybe that's where I will find the mysticism again. After all, we want what we can't have and the chase is better than the purchase.
Well, not so fast. Last Monday, I booked a hotel and plane ticket to Albuquerque and paid premium dollars for a front row ticket to see Journey and My Arnel one more time, to see if I can bring back the magic. If it's really gone, then this dog ain't hunting no mo'. At least not openly.

Toronto Concert Review (by BeerXpress)

Because I don't get to *pinch Arnel (unless you have a good lawyer you don't do this to Americans) and *squeeze his cheeks, I live off of his YouTube videos and reviews from people. Below is a review by Beerxpress (YT poster) when Journey was in Toronto. Long overdue but I want to preserve this in my blog and I think this is a very well written review. Thanks BX.

The traffic was moving slow on the way to Molson Amphitheatre. We feel the Journey spirit around when I hear Revelation playing in their cars. One guy cheeringly asked me if he's in the right way to Molson. A lot of young crowd walked along Lake Shore towards the amphitheatre. When we got there, we grabbed draft beers for $11 each. I noticed the crowd is a good mixture of young teens, men & women in their 40's-50's, a few who seemed left behind by time still wearing their mullets and long haired Perry style in his younger years and a good sized group of Filipinos.

It was fun to see the Journey fans of different generation. I was expecting older Journey fans...I was wrong. So many young teens singing and bopping their heads, singing the lyrics along with Arnel. You would think they were born during the early Journey years. I wondered myself how they came to know Journey. Whatever the reasons are, I'm amazed. Totally unexpected! Now you will understand why Journey music is ageless.

Jonathan was wearing this tight white stitched denim. He looks much younger for his age. Neal Schon....he's gorgeous! His dark hair, black outfit with his big cross necklace and leather wrist bands...he's surprisingly young looking...and what a great smile. And Ross...just adored him. He made those funny faces, the comic of the band. Deen looks so much different in person. He's handsome! Saving the best for last, Arnel is adorable. He's just average short but boy...he's such a ball of energy! He was wearing the same jacket he wore in Chile. I figured, it's just appropriate to celebrate his birthday with Journey for the first time. No question about it, Arnel's tenor voice is perfect for journey music. He spins jumps and sings like a big man hitting every high notes. He stood on top of the speaker cheering the crowd from lawn area.

The crowd screaming Wows in every song and everyone on their feet. I definitely hear the crowd's approval that they like Arnel. He was singing non-stop, one song after another. His only break was the harmonica and guitar with Neal and Jonathan. Jonathan dropped his harmonica on the floor at the end of the song and run to his piano. Anyway, not even a trace that Arnel was sick two days ago. I noticed that he sprayed his mouth while Neal Schon was playing his guitar. He looked tirelessly jumping, smiling and cheering the crowd. He's just fantastic.

We know why their concerts were sold out! He started with the song Never Walk Away. Crowd cheering except a few stood still awestruck. He nailed every high notes in all classic songs. Toronto crowd were hot!!! Their hands up in the air..couples dancing with their music...UNBELIEVABLE! When Arnel sang Don't Stop Believin, the crowd sang along with him. Lights....I grabbed my flashlight and others put their cell phones up and lit up lighters swaying to the song. It was electric! Arnel is definitely a great asset to new Journey. He constantly made eye contacts with the people...totally amazing. He points at you...making heart gestures. He smiled at me..as if he knew me personally. I was on the 5th row...as if he's just singing just for me… whoops...sorry for daydreaming or nightdreaming LOL..

Neal's the best with his guitar as if he's making love with it hahaha....such magnetic smiles. Overall, amazing concert! Not to be missed! I have so much to say but this is getting too long. Sorry for that. My constant playing of Revelation and after this concert, I want to see more of Journey! Journey music lives on.

Then my unfortunate experience. ..Arnel threw me this black thing looks like a suede towel or something landed on my head and this tiny filipina, quickly grabbed it from my head. Whoever it was, hope you’re not feeling guilty lol….OMG.....everyone was asking me why I didn't grab it back. But it's okay...I enjoyed the concert and you can say...I'm still Journey obsessed hahaha.Don’t forget to buy your concert tickets! It’s worth the money for sure. --------------------------------end-------------------------------------------------------

*Filipinos way of showing overwhelming desire to kiss cute and kissable kids.

Billy and Ike

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. ---Helen Keller



Last night I dragged my friend Billy to this newly opened Cajun restaurant close to where I live. Billy is my foodie buddy. On our way there Billy came up with a spur of the moment idea to drive south and meet Ike - the hurricane that is about to inflict Houston and the neighboring coasts sometime tonight. "I have not seen a hurricane, why don't we go meet him?" I looked at him like, are you crazy? But he was serious. Really, I thought it was a great idea too, because in my childhood when typhoons visited Cebu, the day after always brought a feeling of serenity within me. I loved the stillness of it, that even now, subconsciously I long for the storm if only to experience the calm the day after.

Anticipating the adventure we were going to have, I was euphoric. I felt the adrenalin rush as I imagined myself bracing against the rainstorm. Billy has a brand new double cab pick-up truck and the plan was to go as close as we can to Galveston, then sit and watch the waves lambast the seawall or buildings and whatever else the 130mph wind would do. We planned to stay awake and watch the chaos all night but book 2 hotel rooms just in case. But in our planning we didn't consider the fact that traffic going in to Houston was blocked. So the temporary euphoria was dashed quickly. Billy instead went fishing today and I went to Barnes and Noble and sifted through the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.

Billy is battling liver cancer but he seizes each moment. After working for 40 years with Texas Instruments he retired two years ago only to be diagnosed with liver cancer the next year. I have watched Billy live each day like it's his last and yet he makes provisions like he's going to live forever. His friend's son plays minor league hockey and Billy follows them cross country not because he loves the game so much but I think because he loves the people more.
When I told Chat about me and Billy going to Houston to meet Ike, she said : "I suggested before that you hang around Billy so he can teach you how to live not so you can learn how to die. But if the 2 of you wants to chase typhoons and tornadoes, go ahead, just make sure that you increase your life insurance policy, because I intend to be rich when you're dead." Chat is just so loving that way.

Sitting here I am mulling over the uncharacteristic excitement I felt last night. Why was I overly excited of the thought of the impending danger? Do I have a death wish? Is my life that dull that I need that kind of adventure to jog my senses? I am tempted to answer both questions with a no, but the truth is, we all have a death wish and we all have a dull life. The only question left is how often and how dull?

The Authentic Life

Today my boss walked past my desk and saw me scanning, she said : "That's a job for a 17 year-old." So why am I paid like I'm 12? No, I didn't tell her that.
I like my work environment and I have the coolest boss but I don't really care for the job I have now. So find what you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life, right?

One of these days, I will really get the courage and find a paying job writing for magazines or newspaper. I think I will really feel fulfilled then. Which reminds me of what the novelist Mary Morris said, " Pursuing what you want to do and achieving your goal is not like finding the burning bush or discovering a gold mine. There are usually no epiphanies, no sudden reversal of fortune. Fulfillment comes in fits and starts, fulfillment comes in many guises."

My motivation to write is never about money but simply because I like to talk. Reason why I'm awake at 10pm and writing when I should be sleeping so I can go to my real job in the morning.
I approach everything with a passive attitude because of no other reason - I am not aggressive. Most of the jobs I've had were given to me and most of what happened to me in the other aspects of my personal life, they just happen. Not really. The same God who designed the orbit of the universe is the same God who made things happen for me and no one can convince me otherwise. I don't buy what The Secret is selling; I know the bible too much.

I better shut up and go to sleep. But let me share this with you from the book Simple Abundance,
"Today you can begin to transform your workplace and your working style by considering how much you have to be grateful for. If you have a job, even the one you can't stand, it's a safety net as you take a leap of faith towards your authenticity. If you're out of work, then the path has already been cleared for you to answer your authentic calling." Hmmmm.

I used to dream of being a columnist for Sunstar Cebu or The Freeman, live in Cebu and sit my lazy behind at Tinder Box everyday sipping coffee. (Are you reading this Mr. Seares?)
I though that would be my authentic self, a writer. Yeah, and I would be authentically broke too.

Freddy Mercury

Farrokh Bulsara famously known as Freddy Mercury seldom gave interviews, but when asked about his future plans, he said :
"What will I be doing in twenty years' time? I'll be dead, darling! Are you crazy?"

Thank God or I would be going to his concerts too. This kills me, the bottomless microphone, the wife beater shirt and he is soooo gay, I just love him. Look at the energy. Here's to get us through the hump.
Courtesy of Oberon1966-thanks

Sara Palin vs. Osama Bin Laden

Before I came to America I have only voted three times – and all on the same day. My own feet really went to three different precincts in Manila and my own hands really voted. I say this because in Cebu I found out that I had voted every year but I still don't know who I voted for. My girlfriend's married boyfriend (a military colonel and senior aid to..) convinced me to vote, and with free meals and air-conditioned car how could I refuse?

In 1986 I arrived here in America and one of the things Don lectured me on was about voting in this country—you only vote once and no sardines either. He explained the electoral college, the history of the 2 political parties and why it is important to vote. Don said I have to consider the values and principles that guides me, what matters to me and base my decision on that as to which candidate would best represent me. But back then, I really did not care, after all I came from a country whose people believes that the Philippines can be run by Pacman.

But I did have this much conviction about my candidate here in America; if I have to look at him for the next 4 years, he better not be an eyesore. So I voted for Bill vs. the old George. Then after Bill, I voted for the young George. (Because when he lived in Dallas, he opened the door for me coming into The Container Store.) I didn’t know who he was until Don told me he was the co-owner of the Texas Rangers. And I liked his nose a lot better than Al Gore's.

Then I became a Christian and I started thinking - with that part of my body behind my eye. I don’t have a party affiliation. I study both sides and I am a Christian first, conservative second.(This is my political speak)

Politicians likes to pound on where they stand on the issue of foreign policy and the local economy. These are major issues, that's for sure, but I myself only has these questions to ask from a candidate : Who do you believe is the giver of life and what is a fetus? The second question should not be hard to answer because anyone who has bought a condom knows when life is conceived. If a candidate answers this question correctly, he will handle all the other issues rightly. But if a candidate is vague on his answer to this question, it means that his definition of a fetus is: "It" is not viable until "It " graduates from law school.

And therefore, "It" can be eliminated anytime "It" is deemed a burden to a person's lifestyle and or to society. I hate to think of what would happen to me when I am no longer capable of thinking for myself and Chat is not around to fight for me anymore. All other issues will be irrelevant if a candidate doesn't know what a fetus is. Because I believe that a person's vertical relationship determines how he handles the horizontal issues.

So what about Sara Palin? I'm not sure about the gun-toting part but I love the beehive-librarian bun, the retro specs, the “rig hand” husband with GQ hair who does not have a college degree (just like me) and normal as can be kids – what, you want me to say that getting pregnant at 17 is not normal nowadays?

But you say, “Come on now, we’re talking about some woman who has no experience, who is just a breath away from becoming the POTUS, because John is 72 and just might hit the dust soon.”
Experience? That's what advisers are for. And don't be concerned about how she's going to handle the debate. Sara will be fine. You know why? Because they already know the questions so they’ve already studied for the answer. When she made the headlines because of her speech during the RNC, people were quick to point out that she did not write her own speech. Which politician does? Plagiarism is illegal, right? Except to the politicians. Everyone of them uses a speechwriter and yet does not give credit to the writer. But I think Joe is smart for not saying anymore than his awestruck "she's a babe" comment and better yet he told his supporters to find something else to pick Sara with because readers might just remind him of this.

Joe, John, Barry and Sara, they're all politicians - you'll never know what they'll do. They say one thing and do another - just like a hormonal woman. But this I know for sure; the difference between Osama Bin Laden and a woman with PMS? At least, Osama will negotiate.

WHY?

I receive all kinds of emails but mostly to tell me that they connect with what I wrote. Yesterday, an anonymous reader sent me this long email and as I was reading it, I thought - what is this person doing writing down my thoughts? I emailed anonymous back to ask permission if it's ok to print it here. Anonymous, thank you for sharing. I'm not crazy after all.

I've been living but I have not lived.

These past years have been a roller coaster ride. I thought – what the heck...let's do this. It will be great...it will be fun...it will be spectacular. But why do I feel sad and empty? Before that my mantra was – do what you want and be happy. Walk the talk....is that correct? That's what I've been doing the past years. Why am I not happy?

Why do people look at something material and feel the need to get it just because they 'connect' with it? That they see something in it and that it would fill some gaps and make them 'satisfied', 'happy', something that would make them loose sleep over it just because they feel 'connected'? We look at it and feel ecstatic....a few days after I look at it and see an object. Then I ask 'why?'

We listen to something and just suddenly proclaim – that's me! That's me! We pore over all the other songs that sound like them and then after a few rounds we just want to get out of it because we can't take any more of the same. Why?

Why do we read books that take us somewhere we've never been before – or somewhere that it's okay not to be yourself? Why do we dream of scenarios that are not totally different from where we are now and feel that it is for real? Why?

I feel sad because I'm not satisfied with what I have when there are a lot more people who are more talented and resourceful but don't get the break that they need. Why are they happy with what they're doing but I'm not? Why can they take the same thing over and over again.... everyday of their lives and not say 'I don't want this anymore, take me out of here'. Why do I say it everyday?

Why are they still smiling while I'm crying just because I feel that am in between rocks.
Why am I crying when I'm earning my keep while others are struggling to make ends meet? Why?
Why do I feel like running away from everything and just scream 'I want freedom!!!' when am actually free to do whatever I want to do?
Why?Why?
Take me out of this darkness Lord. Let me be free from all these burden. Let me have peace.

Day After the Rain

I planned to get in my car this morning and head south but with hurricane Gustav threatening to slap the gulf coast sometime this weekend, I was not really sure if I should go through with it. And at lunch yesterday, John told me in simple English : "You need to tell us where you're going and where you're staying so we know where to rescue you if something happens." Is my son in-law cute or what. When I was in Costa Rica he told Chat that "Your mom just can't get on the plane, go to another country without telling us then call us the next day that she's in trouble." And I was not calling for money either. I just wanted to excite Chat and hear her say -Mom, you're stressing me and it's not good for my skin.

I took a walk this morning and I just love it when it rained the night before
and the sun is about to come out with the ground still moist. Here's some pictures. While I decide what to do this next 3 days.





My Myers Lemmon and my calamansi-

- Main entrance gate to my apartment- my apartment building just right past the gate.

Where Has All Our Pleasure Gone?

"I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure" - John D. Rockefeller



Four days a week I work to make a living, the other three I use to daydream and squander what I made. But lately my brain is frozen and unable to even daydream or spell squander. I think, from too much excitement over Journey, I have extracted all the adrenalin out of my body. It's my kindergarten explanation to my unexplainable blah. But really, there's a medical term for it, it's called menopause. Men would do well if instead of striving to become a CEO, they quit their jobs and go to school and learn how to deal with the bipolar woman at home. The money only goes to the lawyers and psychiatrists anyway.

Anyway, I'm trying to stay on track here and not let this menopause thing derail me from my point. Or what is my point? I saw this book by Dr. Hart titled "Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure is Leaving us Numb." The title alone speaks volume so I am ordering it because as I have mentioned before, I am always looking for the next thrill. Thankfully, I have my faith in Christ that gets me back in alignment whenever I stray from the truth. And thankfully, I have a 4 day weekend coming up starting tomorrow.

Marya bewitched me with her Boracay pictures that I want to drive down to Galveston so I can smell the ocean breeze. I was getting restless at work today because I just wanted to get in my car and start heading south. Another thing I don't like about Dallas - no mountains, no ocean. In San Francisco, they have both, plus Arnel Pineda and Ross Valory.

If I live in San Francisco, I would not mind working 5 days a week. At least I'll have 2 days to look forward to; Saturday, I'll stalk Arnel and Ross on Sunday. If the San Francisco police don't like that, at least there's mountains to climb and Goldilocks bakery.
Here in Dallas, there's only 1 Filipino restaurant and it's a 5-hour drive to get to the nearest ocean, that's why I spend most of my days daydreaming than working. My boss kept asking me to work full time, politely I kept declining, (I already gave in and work 4) I explained to her that I don't need to work because I have all the money I could spend in my lifetime. Assuming of course, that my lifetime is only one month.