Where Do I Sign?

I just signed another year's lease on my apartment here in Dallas and I hate to sign my name on anything that makes me committed. I have several other choices of living accomodations that would be cheaper (if not free, like living with Chat) but I pay premium price for my personal freedom.

After I signed the lease, I felt sad because I realized that I am stuck for another year. I thought I really should be a vagabond especially now that I am feeling more like Lord Byron in one of his dark moods, feeling indifferent to life : " It is that very indifference which makes me so uncertain and apparently capricious. It is not eagerness of new pursuits, but that nothing impresses me sufficiently to fix, neither do I feel disgusted, but simply indifferent to almost all excitements." Lord Byron can afford to be crazy because he had royalties from writing about his craziness, while I can only afford to read about it.

When I told Chat that I may not sign another lease so I can go try vagabonding once more, she became quiet. And it's not good when Chat is quiet. She pulled from her purse a gift card (have you seen what merchants have done to rev up the US economy? -the card's border has Christmas holly and bells and a picture of her and John in the middle - it is so cool) handed it to me and she said the amount will pay for one year of psychotherapy. For me.
Don't you just hate it when your kid has more money than you? Especially when it seems only yesterday that I bribed her with extra 3dollars to her school allowance if she stopped watching wrestling?

I promised her I will be a "real vagabond" this time, that I won't be calling her again from the Four Seasons hotel asking for her credit card number. It's really not good when Chat is quiet. "Mom, you know why John and I just opted to have a cat and not a dog or a child?" I was smart not to want to know the answer. Right Tygger?