It's a loss, it's a blessing

My capacity to retain information has significantly diminished. And I have to say this with all honesty and resigned acceptance, that it's not all that bad. When I first had the sign of unusual forgetfulness, like, when I could not remember names as fast as I wanted to, I'd get so mad and frustrated--at myself. Then I started blaming internal and external causes; my hormones are out of whack because of all these preservatives in the food I eat. Or it could be old age, but I didn't cause this.

Well, I'm  done blaming. I'm done denying. I'm done resenting.  I have accepted that trying to remember names is the least of my worries. I justify it: we must not have a close relationship or I'd remember your name. I have accepted that I could hardly even remember what I ate an hour ago, so why even try to squeeze my brain and force it to remember anything else? What I do remember constantly is that my memory is not what it used to be. But a blessing comes with that loss. See, now, when I have something to be angry or sad about, I don't linger in that state for long, because once I've taken on another subject or have fallen asleep, my brain has to be told like what you tell a computer if you want to find out what sites your husband has visited; you scroll through the history. Then I decide accordingly---oh, I was sad, should I go on being sad? aaah, it's ok, nothing to worry about. Delete. Delete bad history.

Ok, let's see if I have pictures for this post. Ahah, what I had for my dinner last night. I think this is what I had.