It's another beginning

 Ok. So we made it past all the busyness of shopping, wrapping, cooking and eating. And showing up at places we'd rather not be, but has to, because it's the right thing to do. So we don't offend. Well, I am done trying not to offend. 

Right now I am tired. And bloated and pissed off. Only in the last 3 days that the temperature has changed from miserable to tolerable. All I have been doing is think: What should I make for breakfast, then after I eat, I think again. I wonder what's good for lunch. Should I eat this now or save it for dinner. And the miserable cycle begins again. Eat, sleep, think. Get bloated and get depressed looking at the number on the scale. The current inflation rate and the number on the scale is oppressive. I am helpless about the economy.  But something has got to change about this mindless eating. Soon. Now.

I thought By Now

 We all have felt this. We all have said this under our breath or have shared this with friends and acquaintance: I thought by now I would have this house, I thought by now I would have this job promotion, I thought by now I'd be married and have children. I thought by now....

Well, don't give up. Don't stop hoping and don't stop believing. You're on the edge of your breakthrough. It will happen before the year ends and all is well in Jesus name. 

Christmas 2006 Post

When I see two trunks of banana trees with real fat bananas ripening on the tree tied on both sides of our doorway, I know it is Christmas. That was our Christmas tree. The bananas were so fat it was splitting the skin. We picked and ate anytime we want one; that was how my dad celebrated Christmas when we were growing up. No Christmas dinner or dressing up for church and definitely no gifts. We had one rich relative who would come and give us a calendar and t-shirts advertising his business.

The rich probably celebrated Christmas but I would not know because I did not have any rich friends. I was 24 years old the first time I received a Christmas gift for myself and for myself alone. It was from the wife of my boss; they are Americans. When she handed it to me, I unwrapped it right away, and she told me, I was supposed to put it under the Christmas tree and wait til Christmas to open it. But we didn't have one.

As the years progressed and my families mindset improved, my sister started making a Christmas tree made out of tree limbs covered with some white soap bubbled to look like snow. Then she would put empty boxes wrapped in red and green japanese paper under it. That was the only improvement in our Christmas celebration. Of course we did not open the boxes because there was nothing in it. I did not question the snow, considering that the only snow the Philippines ever saw is on tv. We did not feel depressed in December because we did not expect any gift from anyone. And we did not feel tired in January and the rest of the year trying to pay for the gifts we were forced to give and could not afford.

Fast forward to now. We have big things and we don't sleep well at night. I live in America, and Americans are "freedom loving people" but I am so polarized I have lost my freedom trying to be free. Free from sarcasm. One group says we should boycott any store that does not mention Christ-mas in their greetings. Another group says, it does not matter -as long as we get a day off for the "holidays." I like both ideas but I have 2 equally precious friends who's polarizing me. I tell them it's not Christs' birthday we are celebrating anyway but rather a celebration of pagan origin. It is the merchants who entices us to buy.., not Christ. Christ wants us to celebrate everyday. How do we do that? By being Christlike. And I have yet to see one around this time of year. If you don't believe me, try cutting in front of a shopper who's eyeing the last X Box on sale.

I hate Christmas because it creates too much traffic. Christmas brings on a lot of depression. It brings out the best in people and also the worst in people. At work, this is the time we gather around cookies and flavored popcorns and talk about our bosses. We talk about our bosses everyday, but Christmas brings on the biggest complainer in us. What do you mean 100 dollars? Dave gave us 200 plus fruit cake. (Dave was the boss 10 years ago, and we compared him then to the boss before him too.) And when we ran out of complaints towards our bosses, we start complaining about the gift from our men. Which leads to pondering ...he does not care as much anymore.
A coworker walks in to work after Christmas grinning ear to ear and prods.."So what did Santa gave you?" Those with stable marriages have no problem giving the details. Those of us who are alone pretends to be ok with it and lies about imaginary gifts we received and imaginary things we did with family and friends..(it is a lie of course but we told this lie over and over in this Christmas season, that we started to believe it is true.) And some of us just pretends to be sarcastic about Christmas and say we don't like it, when in fact we love it, but hate the fact that we have no one special to spend it with.

So before I get so sarcastic here, let me stop so I can drive over to a friends house. My friend is trying to reach out, " Do you think you can stop by and visit for a while?" The depressed voice on the other line could as well be mine and it is only 10 days before Christmas.

Of snow and maple leaf

I'm in the land of the maple leaf again. We arrived 2 days ago in 6 below zero temperature but it was nice because the sun was bright and sunny. Today is snowy and gloomy. 

This is my first Christmas here since the grandkids were born because I avoid being here in the cold, but when the lockdown happened during the pandemic 2 years ago, I got concerned that I might not see my kids again. I made a decision then that this year I will have a place of our own to spend Christmas here for the first time. We got this condo last August and it is worth every penny we spend on it regardless that we're not here every month.  Thank you Jesus!

Simmer down, it's all good.

 Neuropathic scientists backed by medical scienced are saying that only 13% of our illnesses are caused by diet or environment, but 87% of it is caused by toxic thinking or mental depression. I wish I knew this way back when, before I had to pay a lot of money to recline at the couch of 2 of Dallas famous psychiatrists. It was and still is common belief and teaching that a person is depressed because of a chemical imbalance, instead of the reverse--a person has chemical imbalance because he or she is depressed or thinking wrong. I tried several different pills only to end up more imbalanced than before I started. Several attempts at changing my lifestyle and moving from place to place did not help at all. The mind was still sick. Until I went back to the Word of God and took His Word seriously. " By Jesus stripes you were healed, He bore your sickness and carried your pain" {1 Peter 2:24 Isaiah 53:4-5} was staring at me, waiting to be believed and received, not just read.  I renewed my mind to the truth of God's Word and I started to see the light, and the wrinkled soul and the sick mind began to heal. When toxic thoughts knock at the door, I don't open it, I tell it to focus on whatever is pure, whatever is true and lovely and whatever is of excellence, concentrate on it. {Philippians 4:8}

Now let me go, so I can thaw my frozen pecan pie and serve me some good, nice slice of heaven. 

Happy Friday ya'll

 I'm here. This past 2 weeks my internet has been sluggish and dragging like an old dog with a wounded leg. It's very frustrating to watch a 1.5 hour movie drag to 4 hours because every 3 minutes it stops. I'm not complaining, I am angry. 

Anyway, nothing new here in the woods except the cool weather is starting to remind me I'm not in the Philippines. I love the 4 seasons but I really miss being able to enjoy my farm all year long, where the plants and trees stay green and vibrant.  In a few weeks here, the woods will start to thin out its leaves and my garden will be buried in dead leaves while my fruit trees stand at attention, bald and brown. They will look like no one lived here, like I never loved them or cared for them.  I miss them terribly during this time of quiet hibernation. But they will be back. For now, I am grateful for my gift--the gift of life, health and serenity. And the capacity to accept and enjoy the changes in my garden. And in my life.

No woes Wednesday

 Wednesday, 9 a.m. here in the woods. The morning started out gloomy but the sun has started to peek out in between the trees. There is no such thing as darkness---there's only the absence of light. Yes, you can create darkness by taking out the light, taking out the bright hope of tomorrow and blurring out your vision with fear and worry. Melancholy, nostalgia and forgetting to enjoy the little things before you makes for a depressing mood. No I will not let depression rule my life again. Yes, I will be grateful for the little things in front of me....like this good cup of sikwate.

I'm back in the cabin in the woods and this is what makes me come back....my food forest.
 

 Day after tomorrow we will be flying back to the US. I miss my garden and my tiny life in the woods but I'm weary of having to deal with airports and flying. I love to imagine travel and being in some new place for a change but the actual execution of it has lost its glitter for me. Could it be true what someone said that an imagined life is better than life lived? Of course it is. Imagination is limitless. Imagination is the most powerful tool a person can use to make things happen. The bible shows if you can imagine it, you can have it. 

I have been imagining of a ranch somewhere in West Texas in the hill country, where I could have animals running all over the landscape of over 100 acres. It will have a stream running through it with small cottages to house people who is trying to rebuild their life and start over. West Texas is close to the border of Mexico so I hope to employ Mexicans or Latinos to till the land and grow food. It will be a sanctuary for the downtrodden and needy but most of all it will be a place to know God and His Son Jesus; and live the life He died for to give us. Exciting? Yup. I'm excited. 

 We've always heard that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the body, but I read an article stating it's the other way around--a person has chemical imbalance because that person is depressed.  I believe the latter to be true based on the book I read by Dr. Caroline Leaf, titled, Switch on Your Brain. It's a Great easy read....just as long as you read it slow; after a page or a paragraph, pause and go wash the dishes or the windows while pondering a statement. Seriously I love it!

I have always struggled with depression after I left the pure innocence of childhood and entered the threshold of bills and broken heart. Until 6 years ago when Jesus healed me. Well, the last 3 days I've been feeling low ---not depressed, just not up to par with the truth of what God said. God said: Jesus, His only son, died for us so we can have an abundant life. Abundant life means financial prosperity, physical/mental/emotional healing and when this body is ready to leave this earth, we will put on an incorruptible body and are guaranteed to live with him and not in hell. IF, we believe this truth and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, we are eternally redeemed from the curse of hell. We all have eternal life, that's not the question, the question is where will we spend it? I am not going to hell, so 27 years ago, I made a reservation already through Christ. If you haven't, do it now.

Bait and Click

 There are Youtubers who produce contents that are inspiring, funny, helpful and very well presented. I love it and subscribe to them. But when they start running out of meaningful content they resort to tricks, to get more viewers. That's where I draw the line, when they start using deceptive captioning.  
There's this American woman who is married to a man from Thailand. I love her stories but when she started using tricky captions: "Leaving my Thai Husband" sure will make anyone curious, especially when you find the husband nice and attractive, but then you find that she meant she's leaving him because she has to go to another town. I just could not like her or her stories anymore. But hey, whatever works, right? Maybe. Maybe not.

I need your help

 Every day is a good day, except some days are better. Today is in the better category because I learned how to customize my You Tube channel without screaming "I'm too old for this".  

 I promise I will have better content and better quality sooner than soon.  

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSUfazENZ1aky-h2KQJO45A

Learn to laugh at yourself

Finally. After 6 years of just using my cell phone for everything, there's so much to learn again. Like, transferring photos from my cell phone to this laptop. Yesterday I made this tapioca/mango dessert and crab apple jelly from Chats apple tree in her backyard. Atta girl, right?

Facebook who?

 I was trying to create another Facebook account on this laptop, but Facebook keeps telling they "can't process my request". I have created a You Tube account, but I am not on any other social media platform. Well, I'm not in the mood to keep trying and beg Facebook. I don't beg for crumbs. Not from Mark. I don't even care to ask him what a lot of you wants to know: What's the one thing that made him choose a Chinese wife? I'll tell you the answer---who else could count all that money? 😜😜😜

Market Crashing? Inflation? Depression?

 First there was the covid pandemic scam. Well, not totally a scam because the virus was real. China is famous for counterfeiting luxury brand bags and other useless stuff, but this covid mess was genuinely Chinese. It was the mediation of it that was a scam. Money driven therapy for a virus that has a 99.9% recovery rate, yet it was sold globally as a virus that could wipe out a country.  And everyone bought the lie, except the ones who didn't read the news or watched tv. 

Now here's another dark cloud hovering over people--the market crashing and the coming of another great depression. [if it has not arrived already] But being born and raised in the Philippines I'm not afraid of depression, recession or inflation; we ate all 3 of these when I was growing up. And now that I know who I am in Jesus, the worlds' economy does not concern me. I have guaranteed stocks with the following symbols: Luke6:38 and Malachi3:10 

Canadian Thanksgiving Day

 Today October 10th the Canadians celebrates Thanksgiving.  And since I'm here in Canada, I expect food just as I would expect it next month when we in the US celebrates ours. Oh yes, I'm thankful. I'm thankful every day. But let's be honest, in every celebration isn't it celebrated with food? Thanksgiving is the jumping point to Christmas, and it's the last meal before the year ends that we can eat without guilt and explanation---because we're not expected to bring a gift to exchange. I don't know what sorry soul came up with this invention of exchanging gifts at Christmas. I like receiving gifts. I like receiving lots of gifts. Exchanging? Not so much. Oh well, I need to go and eat at Chat's house. I'm not expected to bring anything but my Redneck.

Mexican Panaderia

I grew up with a mother who did not believe in luxurious spending; by luxurious I mean not spending on anything besides the necessary rice and dried fish. When she cooked our food using oil instead of the usual grilling or boiling, I suspected someone must have died and left us a big inheritance. Cakes? The first bite that entered my mouth was when I was in high school when a rich classmate brought some for the teacher. My palate was not trained on sweets so I don't really crave for them but when I go to the Mexican market I always stop by their panaderia and make my eyes feast on the rich colors.

#Fiestagrocery

 

Energy affects Matter

Everything we see is matter and it contains atomic particles. In quantum physics scientists  discovered that atomic particles are not visible unless it is observed, meaning it responds to the observers interaction with it. Words are energy and it affects matter. Remember when Jesus spoke to the fig tree and cursed it simply with a negative pronouncement? The tree responded from the atomic level and dried up.[ Mark 11:14] Jesus was demonstrating a simple law of physics.

The things that you desire are made up of atoms, they know what you believe, they hear what you say and behave accordingly. So be careful of the words you speak because  everything will obey you. Except your husband.

 

Empowered Friday

 It's Friday ya'll and blessings are coming your way. Regardless what you hear or feel today, know that the God of the universe who created you, who formed you in the womb and separated you from the crowd of losers and small mindedness, loves you and is ready to give you what He has always planned for you. Jeremiah 29:11

Our hope is not only in knowing that God loves us but that the one Who loves us has the power to make things happen for us. Just believe and receive this truth!

 I am now reunited with my old books. I went through the box and found that these are the old Harvard Classics. It's ok but I was hoping my old Mark Twain books are here. With all the  moving I've done I got rid of all my books except this classics because I was hoping my daughter would want to keep it for the grands. But she doesn't want them so I took them back. They're in my condo here in Canada now. And I'm here with them.

Now I just need to figure out how to post pictures again. This laptop is 6 days old, it's  bought I by my friend. For  me. Yes, for me. For the last 7 years I only used my cell phone. Now, I am back to spin words.

Hang in there peeps. 

I. Am.Here.

 After several years. The time is NOW. I am back and ready to spin some words. If you stayed with me through all these years without a word from me, I owe you. And I love you.